Self sabotage

alouisa63
on 8/26/16 4:54 pm - Farmington Hills, MI
VSG on 07/30/15

Yeah.... It's happening.  Old habits are sneaking back in and they are destructive.  I'm sneaking food and hiding what I'm eating... 

 Weight loss tends to put you in the spot light, especially massive weight loss in a short period of time and I hate being the center of attention.  So the fat part of my brain is telling me I was more comfortable being heavier and it's ok to eat .  But I know it's not ok.  I'm having a hard time reconciling the old me with the "new" me.  (and for the record?  I HATE when people say it's the "new" me.  I'm still me, snark and sarcastic, just in new packaging!!!) 

There is good news though!!  I've started to see a therapist to deal with the issues.  I was so ****y when I had my surgery, thinking "I've got this... I don't need therapy!"  Boy was I wrong... surgery was the easy part, it's life after surgery that's hard!

 

Starting Weight 375  SW 375 Height 5'9" 

Donna L.
on 8/26/16 6:23 pm - Chicago, IL
Revision on 02/19/18

I am in the same place a year later.  I have redoubled my efforts.  I go back to therapy this week, and last week I saw a new psychiatrist who is adjusting my medication.  It's easy for me to avoid therapy being a counselor, but I can't ask my clients to do what I can't, or won't, do.  I have to be the example, even if it's annoying right now.  

We can do this! :)

I follow a ketogenic diet post-op. I also have a diagnosis of binge eating disorder. Feel free to ask me about either!

It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much...the life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully. -- Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

alouisa63
on 8/26/16 6:27 pm - Farmington Hills, MI
VSG on 07/30/15

We got this!!  

 

Starting Weight 375  SW 375 Height 5'9" 

Grim_Traveller
on 8/26/16 9:31 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

We all are our own worst enemies. 

We built up bad habits over a period of years. Decades, for many of us. A few months, or even a few years, of good habits are no match for that. It's a constant struggle, and I doubt that it will ever get better.

Keep fighting.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

alouisa63
on 8/27/16 4:27 am - Farmington Hills, MI
VSG on 07/30/15

Pretty much what the therapist said!

Thank you :)

 

Starting Weight 375  SW 375 Height 5'9" 

cappy11448
on 8/27/16 5:55 am

I totally agree.  This weight loss stuff is serious business.  It goes to our vulnerability and our coping mechanisms. Big Time!

I think its great that you are working with a therapist to understand it better.  I wish you the best in your continuing journey of self-discovery

best wishes,

Carol

 

    

Surgery May 1, 2013. Starting Weight 385,  Surgery Weight 333,  Current Weight 160.  At GOAL!

Weight loss Pre-op 1-20 2-17 3-15 Post-op 1-20 2-18 3-15 4-14 5-16 6-11 7-12  8-8

                  9-11 10-7 11-7 12-7 13-8 14-6 15-3 16-7 17-3  18-3

     

alouisa63
on 8/27/16 5:57 am - Farmington Hills, MI
VSG on 07/30/15

Thanks Carol :)  I'm just glad I realized what I was doing before the 5 pound gain became 10....

 

Starting Weight 375  SW 375 Height 5'9" 

2breakfree
on 8/27/16 2:20 pm - NC

I have gone to a couple Food addicts in recovery meetings. The food plan is a lot!! but it appears to be a twelve step program to help us understand. Kind of like counseling. Kay Sheppard I'm reading right now " From the First Bite". I  am praying to get this right. Surgery and the honeymoon after for a couple years was amazing. So sad that I have allowed the bad stuff back in. I do know that my sleeve still has restriction, it's just me putting crap into my system. Sounds like counseling is helping you keep up the good work.

   
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change and the courage to change the things I can. Above all the wisdom to know the difference    
H.A.L.A B.
on 8/27/16 6:25 am

" I'm sneaking food and hiding what I'm eating... "

Whom are you hiding it from? Why? Maybe you need to reevaluate the reasons for hiding food? You feel judged? 

I was in a relationship with a guy who tried to control me and my eating. I was at my lowest weight - and he still tried to limit what and how much I ate.  I was too low for my age and my body...and I was miserable. And hungry all the time. 

At the end - I had to get away from him. It was not a healthy relationship. My current BF - SO - is very supportive of me and my eating.  And when I gained 20lbs - he still called me beautiful..when I was losing it - He was very supportive of me and my eating (i.e he was ok with us not to have any of my major trigger foods or alcohol in the house.. ).  

 

 

 

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

alouisa63
on 8/27/16 7:24 am - Farmington Hills, MI
VSG on 07/30/15

Odd as it seems, I'm sneaking it and hiding it from myself.  When I say sneaking and hiding, I'll make the package or container look like I never took any....

 

Starting Weight 375  SW 375 Height 5'9" 

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