Being Human

Sometimes people put up fronts, people like to show only the good side of things. They are strong, they can do this easily! No problems, life is good, and I give them props for being positive, but it's not my reality. 

I'm here to tell you things are not always easy for me. I happen to be a human being, and I struggle everyday to live a new lifestyle. I struggle with depression sometimes, and while I have made huge strides and lost a bunch of weight, I still struggle and fight everyday against my old nature.

This is what makes me human, and it's that humanity that allows me to love myself and have the strength to keep on fighting. I will always be fighting for it, I will always be a work in progress. It's never going to be "easy", but I know I'm going to succeed and I am proud of myself for it.

So, to all of you who are just going into this and worry about struggling, don't think that you're alone. We all struggle and we all have the occasional setback. The most important thing you can do is to stay aware of where you are and to never give up.

I'm by no means a veteran, and I haven't even gotten to my goal weight yet, but I have learned so much here and I thank you all everyday for coming here and adding your voices.

You are so right Deanna. 

I am 8 years post op and I had to learn to adapt. I had days or weeks when it is easy... but overall journey? not easy.. not easy at all...

I don't think ever it is going to be easy for me. At the same time - it is not easy for most of my skinny friends (those that are close to my age - teanagers- there are some that have it easy) 

Some people have good genes - but even wit that - the age catches up with them eventually.  

Marinating is relatively easier than it ever was before RNY... Before RNy - I could not do it...I think WLS  put me on the same level as some of my skinny *****es... as long as I work on it - I can lose and maintain.  But-= I have t work on in. 

I do cringe when i see post "xx lbs lost forever.." 

LOL Hala! I read your post and was confuse when I saw "marinating" haha! I reread and realized you meant maintenance! Haha thanks for the laugh... I was like, how in the world does WLS make marinating easier?? Haha :) I love typos (or phone corrections, when the phone thinks it is smarter than us and automatically goes..."this is what you meant." and "fixes" it for us!)

I was messaging a friend on facebook the other day and told her about my "recruited" beans.  We got a laugh out of that.  And the refried beans were delicious!

You are sooo correct.  

I say - Pre-Op clarity will get you though post-op crap.  And there will be crap - some of our own making and some that go foisted upon us.

We all can Hang in There!!

Great post, Deanna!

This isn't a 4 week journey, or a six month journey or a 2 year journey.  It's a FOR LIFE journey!

You can think all you want that you've got this morbid obesity thing licked, but the statistics tell otherwise.   Many of you will not reach a normal BMI (and that's ok) and many more of you will have regained 50 per cent of your EWL by year 5.   Yep, just year 5 ...  and the results for 10 years are even worse.

I know how at 12 years out,  I struggle every day to keep the weight off.. age happens (darn you menopause), life happens, there will be a time when your surgery doesn't consume your thinking 24 hours per day.  You WILL slack off.

Those pounds you lost forever?  They're patiently waiting to reappear with several of their friends ...

I know that many of you are thinking "not me".  Sorry to be a cynic, but you'll probably be one of the ones who disappears from OH (most do) and either come back with a regain post in 3-4 years or do so badly, you'll be too embarrassed, or you'll pop up asking about revisions!

Now I'm being ridiculous, but when I read the sentence "It's a FOR LIFE journey!" I wanted to throw up a gang sign.  I'm part of the WLS Gang, for life! LOLOL

Deanna,

And an amen to that, my sister.  I'm more than 16 years out and some days are still hard.  

For the most part, the voices in my head -- you know, the ones that say "fat", "useless", "stupid", "weak" -- are quiet.  But every now and again they like to come out and play, and it's not pretty.

If you had told me in April of 2000 that, even with the surgery, I would still have periods of struggle in 2016, I might have run (as if, at pushing 400 pounds) screaming into the night.  Not that I was ever under the delusion that once I came out of the operating room my life would suddenly be all rainbows and unicorns, but I did expect that some of this fat-think crap would go away.

It doesn't.  The issues I had sixteen years before the surgery are still some of the issues I have sixteen years after the surgery.  A lot of them have been resolved in some fairly intensive therapy over the years, but not all of them.

As others have said, this surgery is a process that in no way begins and ends with getting our innards rearranged.  It's a complete paradigm shift (to use that hackneyed old phrase) in how we relate to food and how we see ourselves.  We didn't get fat and morose in a day, and we won't get skinny and happy in a day either -- although we all somehow seem to believe we will.

It's a process, it's a journey -- and, as long as we're all drawing breath, we're in it, and on it.  If anyone tells you they've reached Weight Loss Nirvana, I think they're lying.  I'm still learning stuff about myself I never expected to.

Thank you so much for the response.  I know that I'll never have a normal relationship with food, we've just been dysfunctional so long that there is no way it'll ever be normal.  16 years of success from you, even if it was hard won, is a real comfort to see.  It is possible to lose and maintain, even if it is hard.

  Thank you for sharing, Deanna.  It's a great reminder that weight loss doesn't fix everything in our heads.

You have made phenomenal progress and I'm so proud and happy for you.