Question for those who are at goal weight or below

Does it bother you when people tell say you look too thin (and there is no kidding involved)? I've luckily have not had this comment but I'm thinking in that situation I would be devastated. I guess this stems from being obese for soooo long and people commenting about me being overweight. It's like damned if you do and damned if you don't! I realize this might be something I need to present to a therapist but just wondering how others feel.

You are thinking too much.  It sounds like you need to get on with your life.  Find new friends if they are making too much of  your weight loss.  Small minded people are jealous and like to stir up gossip, don't get caught up with it.  You have been successful all by yourself, so enjoy the new energy and good health.

To tell you the truth, many formerly obese people who lose a lot of weight pretty quickly will go through a period where they look gaunt.  Even those who are a normal weight or even a bit overweight can look like they have lost too much weight.

I did lose too much weight and I've regained about 10 lbs from my lowest but for a while even strangers would feel free to comment on my weight.

Friends I hadn't seen for a while were sure I was sick.  I remember one friend who I hadn't seen for a while grabbed me and hugged me and asked "What is wrong?"  She was almost crying.  I became very self conscious.

But for most people things will distribute and even without gaining any weight or very little they lose the gaunt look and start to look healthy.  I remember many people telling me how much better I looked now that I had gained some weight.  I didn't tell them that I hadn't gained any weight, I just smiled and said thank you.

I am still at the lower end of the BMI range, 19.5, but not one person has made a comment about my weight or looking too thin in a very long time.  In fact, in spite of my weight my body fat is around 25%, which means I have around 27 lbs of fat on my body.  Not sure I trust that since it was calculated on a scale and not professionally but I do wear a size that many people who are 10 or more lbs heavier also wear.  Some formerly obese look like they are thinner then they really are.  I guess I am one of those that looks heavier, lol.

My goal weight is a normal bmi healthy weight for my height, everyone is used to me being this weight, I get the skinny ***** comments from my friends but they are just kidding.

Maybe it was slightly annoying but certainly not devastating.  I would talk to a therapist if a comment like that would devastate you.  Unfortunately, there are people that think they should have a say in what we weigh or how we look (I don't think they have any right to tell me what to weight, but some people think they do).  I think if it's that upsetting to you, it would be good to talk to someone about that.

It is a valid question.  I never thought, at 230 pounds, that people would comment about me being too thin but I have had it and have chalked it up to me being thin compared to where I was.  It does not bother me and I just let people know that I am happy with where I am at this point in my journey and good lord willing I will be able to stay healthy.  My best to you on your journey.

It doesn't feel to good. I had surgery over a year and three months ago and went from 282 pounds down to 115. People comment on me that I am too thin and look very sick. People say my bones are showing through and everything. People that have been in my life when I was heavier still comment on me now that I am thinner and they think I have an eating disorder. So every time I go over to people's houses they always wanna cook me stuff to eat cause they think Iddon't eat..... it's very hurtful but theres nothing I can do about it. Makes me feel guilty.

I was getting the same comments at that point, too (see above).  It does get better.  The biggest mistake many people do is thinking that they need to fix it right away, by putting on weight.  They go on a free for all and before you know it they are back here complaining about too much regain.

It is very likely that people with regain some weight from their lowest.  Most of the people I have talked to say they wish they hadn't stopped losing when they did but allowed themselves to get a little lower then they wanted to have room for bounce back.

As time goes on our capacity for food increases and the malabsorption decreases.  A perfect storm for regain if you aren't careful.

Unless you get to the underweight range just ride the storm out and it will all even out in the end.

It doesn't bother me, but then, it never bothered me when people called me fat (or stupid, or a *****), either.  I don't give a crap what people think about me (save for one or two).  I had the surgery to be healthy for my daughter, and so I could become the active person I used to be.  I know I am healthy now. 

I had those same comments when I got to goal and a little below.  After a year or so (at the same weight) my body redistributed and my face, ribs, etc. looked less gaunt.  People no longer tell me that I lost too much or look ill.  I'm over 5 years post RNY.  I think time takes care of things.  I didn't let the comments bother me as I knew I was at a healthy weight and BMI.

Penny