question for those that don't tell people about having WLS

I understand why people might not want to tell some people they are having WLS.  Your medical information is your business and you are under no obligation to share it with others.  I get that.

But there is something I don't get.  There seem to be many people that, when asked by people how they have lost so much weight, give a kind of "half answer," saying something like "I am working with my doctor and a dietician" or "I am on a low carb diet and I exercise a lot," all of which is true, but that's not the whole story.  But by giving that answer, I think it implies that it is the whole story.

Now, again, I don't think anyone is obligated to give the whole story.  But what I don't get is, if you don't want to tell people the answer, the whole answer, to the question, why not just say something like "I prefer not to talk about it" or "I don't share that information with people?"  Why give the "half answer" instead?

I think a lot of people just don't feel comfortable saying "no", so to speak.

You're probably right.

I'm going to get a lot of flak for this but I think it's typically rooted in embarrassment and shame. 

I think that is sometimes why people don't want to tell.  I don't think it's the only reason, but sometimes it is probably the reason.  But that doesn't really explain why they don't just say "I don't want to answer that question."

I have a disability and I have a service dog.  It is not unusual for strangers in the grocery store to come up and ask me what's wrong with me and why I have a service dog.  I am not embarrassed or ashamed of having a disability or of having a service dog.  However, I do not always want to discuss my disability with strangers at the grocery store.  It's none of their business.  Plus, sometimes I really just want to finish my shopping and get home.  So I say "I don't discuss that with people I don't know" or "I'm not comfortable sharing that with you."

I don't understand why people don't just say that if they don't want to tell people about their WLS.

I haven't had my surgery yet, but have given thought to what I will say when asked about my weight loss. I know I won't want to admit to having surgery. It's a private issue, and I'm a private person. But I realized it's me not wanting to admit I couldn't do it 'on my own'; wanting people to think I'm 'strong' enough to lose it the 'old-fashioned' way. Basically, it's a matter of being too proud. So, depending on who's asking, (some people just want gossip ammo) I'm going to admit I've had WLS. I feel it's important for me to be honest with myself first, then with others.

You know, I don't think the "old fashioned way" is the best way to do everything.  I mean, how do you wash your clothes?  With a washer and dryer?  Or do you scrub them on a wash board and hang them out to dry?  How do you get to work?  Ride  your horse or drive your car?  And if you do use a washer and dryer and drive a car, does that mean you aren't strong enough to do it the other way?  Or that you're smart enough to do it a more effective, efficient way?

I agree with you. My choice of terms is indicative of my age, I suppose. I plan on gauging the sincerity of the person asking the question. If I feel they are just looking for gossip 'ammo'- I plan on changing the subject. Abruptly. If they persist, I'll ask them when they had their last pap smear, or some other very personal question. LOL

In my experience, when someone responds to a question like this, or really about anything, answering with those responses, even though you may not mean to, it puts them off.  They feel like the person answering them is being snotty or *****y and then they develop an attitude.  I don't tend to have that problem because I just answer the questions asked or, if I don't want to answer, or tell them I had surgery, I would just say, "a lot of hard work" and end it there.  I have and will not ever be ashamed of my choice.

Also, I have found that with those responses, it creates more questions that come up right then or usually somewhere else, behind your back.

Everyone can answer this question according to what is right or comfortable with them.  I will stick with my response above for most people.

GREAT response!!! Not sure of most people, but the people I know as well as my coworkers tend to immediately assume a person has had wls when he/she responds that he'd/she'd rather not discuss his/her weight loss. I've actually had people say this at work and immediately the whispering starts "of course she doesn't want to talk about it, cuz she knows she had wls". I find this so sad Ana bit similar to bullying IMHO. If a person is trying to keep his/her wls private, that may not be the best response for some. However, it may work for others. Ya never know. I like the idea of simply saying "hard work", because that's the truth for sure!!!