Disappointed in my spouse

Since the beginning of this journey I'd advised my hubby this would be "life changing" for both him and I, he has basically embraced it until recently.  He has made some disparaging comments such as "how much more do you plan to loose" (ummmm I'm really not planning, it just happens) and "all your focused on is weight weight weight" (ummm sure beats focusing on foods which is what I did my entire life) and "your so skinny" (ummmm thats what happens when you loose weight).  We have sat down and talked multiple times, I told him "if i cannot vent my feelings to you and my struggles then who can I?"  He says hes tired of hearing me complain about things (weight, food , working out etc)  OK I hear you, so I've consulted my primary physician and asked for a referral to a counselor.  I need to be able to talk about my feelings and frustrations with my changes/surgery etc, and my friends seem too busy in their own lives so basically I feel so emotional inside, pent up and ready to break down soon.  Support groups around my area are hogwash they are too formalized and want "positive" type feedback (based at hospitals that do this surgery).  My family is supportive but live 3 states away.  Its basically me and my husband here. 

I will not let myself falter and haven't since day 1 of my journey, I am going to keep doing this for me, so that I can live healthy, I will not fail and regain, I've come too far to turn back now.   I'm not looking for pitty, more like looking to vent and type down my feelings.  

It sounds like you're doing the right thing to ask for a referral to a counselor.  You need someone to talk to and it sounds like hubby isn't there for you in that way.  Do you think maybe he's feeling threatened because you look so good now? 

~ Karen  :)

It sounds like you're doing the right thing to ask for a referral to a counselor.  You need someone to talk to and it sounds like hubby isn't there for you in that way.  Do you think maybe he's feeling threatened because you look so good now? 

~ Karen  :)

Not sure, hes a very confident person.  But that thought you said never came to my mind.

Yup, I get it.  No one really cares about our WLS as much as we do.  It can be all consuming that first year and difficult for others around us.  I think I got pretty annoying to friends and family too.  Then I just kept posting here and venting here.  It's an adjustment for sure.  It gets easier as time goes on and we're not so obsessed with "I can or can't eat that" and "No, you know I don't drink with my meals!" etc.  

^^^  This.

No one cares about our surgeries as much as we do.  No one wants to talk about our surgeries as much as we do.  It is incredibly boring for a spouse to listen to us obsess about everything WLS related.

If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, vent here, not all the time to your spouse.  BTDT.

Get a copy and read

The Emotional First + Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery

Jul 15, 2009

I have never heard of this...buying it now. Thanks.

Will do!!!

My surgeon gives a copy of this book to all of his patients, it's super helpful.

Would you recommend this even for us who are years out?  I appreciate a good read!