Random whines-- pity party starts here

So, a post to state that post op life is hard. I'm having a "this post op life thing sucks" moment. Anytime I have a meeting downtown and have the travel the subways etc, I feel it the most. I want to be like the other commuters, with a warm drink & donuts in my hand as I bustle towards my destination. I want to grab a pretzel the the meeting coordinator is offering and mindlessly eat while we meet. I want to say "yeah let's grab lunch" before heading back, and jockey for a spot in line at the food courts most unhealthy offerings. Then I want to go back to my office and eat my lunch that I packed, since no one "saw" my other indulgences. 

Instead I sip my ice cold water- on a cold fall day [BORING!!]. I inhale the intoxicating smells and sounds of everything I could partake in- IF I wanted to undo the last 17 months of hard work. I push through-- whispering to myself all the while-- this sucks.

And this further sucks- b/c I'm in a weight loss study. Today was my 6 month weigh-in- I need to below the goal weight. Goal is 196.6. Today at home I weighed in at 193.1. The weigh-in weighed me in at 196.9. (Grrr-- same type of scale- but I'm dressed, mid-day and this scale was on carpet...). So now, I loose the $ I was accumulating for the past 6 all month for making my daily goals- because this random 6 month goals was .03#'s over (when I really wasn't!!). Grrrr!

So today I declare- for this moment-- this sucks- all of it! 

I agree.  Today sucks.  I still don't have my insurance approval for RNY, so we still wait.  I've been eating on my surgeon's plan...even through the weekend, when it's harder on me, and I'm showing to be up a pound after much exercise and very little food.  Plus side is that I have lost 24.5 pounds exactly, but I was at 25.6 pounds lost on Friday.  That was disheartening.  I wanted to be able to go grab a greasy breakfast burrito and a Coke this morning, but resolved not to because, in all honesty, they don't taste good to me any more. Double sucks.

Hang in there! 

Good job toughing it out- least I'm in good company.

Wow, good for you!

I hear you. sorry about missing the goal.. maybe the next day - wear clothes. taht are not heavy.... skip anything salty.. 

I had to change MY attitude towards foods.  Like - really change it. 

• I drink coffee or decaf... warm or hot.. adding some coconut milk to mine... yummy...
• I carry my own snacks with me - I bake "cookies" and freeze them or make into "biscotti" like dry "cookies" .. nuts, jerky, etc... I can have that when others have their "stuff" or the 86% dark chocolate - and i bring enough just for me...I am DONE sharing... because people would eat my stuff and then theirs... no more...
• I can eat almost anywhere now...  even pizza place has wings... or salad...(I don't eat salads)

I am not sure how - but you may need to try to change your attitude towards the foods... I smell donuts - I recall the nausea when RH hits... I feel my back pain.... 

I went to bridal shower of a friend - they had some food and a triple chocolate cake.. I ate meatballs, and stuffed mushrooms, some strawberries..... skipped the bruschetta .. and by the time the cake was cut- I was so full.. that cake was not appealing to me... I got home - made and ate dinner ... 

when I think of food now - I try to see how that food would react in my body...visualize that... donuts- spare tire around the middle; chicken + veggies = extra muscles... 

I am trying to add some carbs to my eating - and I chose fruits, winter squash (add lots of butter - even my SO loves that), or nuts... I can eat a piece of cake... but lately - I really don't want to...

I changed how I see and react to food...

"I can eat anything I want to  - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

{In my whiny 5 year old voice} but I don't want to!!! :-)

I hear you.. I 've been there way too many times...

Some days  (most days) it feel like there are 2 entities in my head:  the child...and the adult...

The child wants whatshe wants.. the adult- well - sometimes I needed the child to take over - just to SHUT HER UP...  and yea - some days I got away with it - others not so much... 

the "Other days" allow the adult to take over now - "the child" hates being sick...it gets more whiney.... the "adult" just suffer in silence - "i knew what I was doing, got what I deserved...".

hence the new line: "I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"... 

I regret that I have only one "like" to give this. I needed to hear this today. 

Just new what are the consequences?

Pick any or all of the following:weight gain, nausea, indigestion, upset stomach, GERD, itching, sinus drip, pain, dumping, RH, constipation, throwing up... The list goes on and on and on.. 

Depends on food type, quantities, quality, chewing, speed of eating, etc...