Give it time as long as you are not turning aggressive or anything.When we change it requires other people to change as well and they are often not ready for that and have to adjust. I used to work in a  therapists  office and oh so many of our patients would get told they no longer loved people, no longer cared etc when they started to change the balance in relationships. I have been walked on most of life as well but like you recently I have started to change. Not only do I feel better after losing some weight but I am also getting older and don't want to be walked on any longer. You and deserve better! Go for it girl.

Thank you!  And good luck to you in your changes too!

Dont go back

You will feel miserable and may eat (or drink) to cope with repressed feelings.

My hubby experiences the same thing at his job (doing other peoples work but they still get THEIR commission).  It affects our household income and bottom line.

I would say stand up for yourself. I wish he did.

Skinny the overly-assertive (and maybe even a tad aggressive).

Thank you.  My job is also commission based so I really need to make sure I put myself first. 

Hey I work on a production/quota system (kind of like commission). First place ever where I saw a room full of Ph.D's get fired for not being fast enough/smart enough.

I get so stressed. I cant particularly be mean to my "customers" (i.e. lawyers).  I want to yell, scream, and swear so bad some days.  That is when I am so grateful for the gym and/or my running shoes.

But I tae bo cardio kick box a lot. And sometimes they remark about how I am beating the hell out of the person in the mirror. They have no clue WHO i am imagining...

Haha!  That's great!   

Good for you for finding your voice, and learning that it's not good for you to allow others to run over you.

Now you just have to "polish" up that new confidence and find a way to use it, specifically at work that isn't too harsh.

If you're seeing a counselor, then talk to them about how to be more assertive, without coming across too strong.

In the meantime though, pat yourself on the back. If your job isn't at risk for what happened, then just revel in the fact that you stood up to someone that needed a taste of her own medicine.

Aww thank you!  I actually just talked to someone here at work that said I did the right thing and she needed to hear what I said so I am feeling a little better now.  I am still going to work on my skills though :)

It's OK!  Well, it sounds like you're making good progress at changing and the road to change can be pretty bumpy for awhile!  I think of it just like a pendulum once we've swung too far in one direction (doormat) we might tend to swing to far to the other end (aggressive) as we get healthier.  Then we figure out how to balance things out and slow down in the middle to be confidently assertive.  Just google assertive vs. aggressive behavior and you'll find lots of examples on how to tell the difference.  A counselor can help you figure out how to be an assertive person too.  So pat yourself on the back, and apologize when you know you've gone too far, and you'll just get better at it!

Thank you. Tehat pendulum thing actually makes sense.  Lol