Negativity

Excess skin can depend on several factors - your age, how long you've been heavy, elasticity - etc.  Exercise (unless it's building muscle to replace some of the volume lost from fat) doesn't help skin per se. 

Time will tell!  You may find it's not that bad and can live with it!! 

Yea - I hear you about family telling others without permission.  My Mother did that even AFTER I told her not too... but it was after I lost my weight. 

You'll do fine.  Stay here - we'll help you! 

I have overweight for less than 10 years but have yo-yoed some. The lowest I got was 160. Yes, for me exercise means strength training. I want firmness lol. I do cardio, too but prefer weights and sometimes the dreaded squats. 

Thank you! If it wasn't for this site and mainly this board I don't think I would be doing as well as I am 4 weeks out! 

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I totally understand and had a similar incident with my niece. She was supportive before the surgery but we had a argument 3 years after the surgery and she said some really hateful things. She is 23 and I realize that she was repeating things that she heard from other family members. I had not been this small (140 lbs) since I was 14 years old. My family used to tease me and call me the big girl of the family. My sisters and cousins were always smaller than I was and some of them have started to gain weight. They are now bigger than me and I think it may be bothering some of them. I decided that I wasn't going to let their ignorance hurt me. They did not know what I went through. They had no clue if it was easy or hard for me because they didn't try to understand my struggle. Don't let any person's ignorance bring you down. We each began this journey for our own reasons and if they are not there to support us, we need to evaluate their importance in our lives. I am not saying cut anyone out of your life, I am saying that I limit my interactions with people that I know cannot support me or at least give me constructive criticism when warranted and needed, not after the fact and malicious! I hope this helps. Good luck and keep doing what’s best for you!

Thank you for the advice. I do believe right now it is best for me not to interact with her at all. Which luckily, in this case I guess, we don't all get together much. Chances are I will not see her until mid July and at that time I will have my full support team there with me. So I know that they love and support my decisions and they also know how malicious she was towards me. 

I am sorry to hear that you went through something similar though. Family can be extremely cruel and I will never understand that. 

Good, and good luck. Keep your chin up and ignore ignorance!

I had my sister tell me "too bad you survived surgery" while I was still in the hospital recovering, so I know how difficult some family members can be. They bring up things that have nothing to do with what your argument is about just to make you hurt. Most of the time it's because they are in pain over something and they want everyone to feel as bad as they do. 

Don't let it hurt you. Try to be the bigger person (as odd as that sounds on a weight loss forum) and feel sympathy for her ignorance. You went through this, not her. You made this huge, life-changing decision yourself and your future. She has no idea how hard it is, how challenging it will be for the rest of your life, and how its NOT an easy way out. I have a lot of family members who don't know about my surgery and I like it that way. The ones who don't know about it are the judgmental, unsupportive ones who aren't worth the breath it takes to defend the decision. 

Be proud of yourself for making a hard decision. Be proud of yourself for choosing to take control of your life. Everyone who thinks they get to voice their negative opinions be damned.

It's not their life. Its yours. 

I am so sorry that your sister said that to you! I couldn't imagine!! I do feel like she was projecting her own insecurities on to me. Esp when she brought up my relationship and children. Which was even worse than the weight issue but all tied together.

I never would have told her if I didn't think she would be supportive, but I can tell that backfired. I feel like with everything she threw at me that she must have held a lot of resentment towards me. Some people are just cruel and I will never understand how you can say things to hurt those that you are supposed to love. I tried not to let it get to me and as the days go by I am beginning to just let it go. I still have nothing I want to say to her. At this point I don't care if I never see her again. It makes me sad for our kids but aside from that I have nothing to gain but hurt feelings having her in my life. 

Thank you. I think from now on anyone who says anything negative I my just tell them that they can have their opinion but I don't need it! You are right, this is NOT even close to being an easy journey. 

Oh I am so sorry that your cousin was such an ignorant, obnoxious, creep.  Do not let her words hurt you.  I truly believe in karma, so she too will feel such hurt.  You may have to be patient but eventually what goes around comes around.  It just goes to prove the real type of person she was.

I have not been afraid to tell anyone about my sleeve. I have no problem explaining to them, people will only think its the easy way out if they are not informed.  Once you tell them the deal, they will certainly change their tune.  I think its not always what you say but how its said that makes the difference.  If you talk or tell someone about your sleeve with excitement and positivity more often than not others will receive it positively.

Stay positive and proud and don't let anyone rain on your parade.

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!

Thank you. I keep telling myself that what goes around comes around.Karma has its ways.

I will keep that in mind about telling others. Sometimes I think it's harder to tell others because I'm a lightweight. But I know I should have no shame but others sometimes make ya feel that way.

That is terrible :( These things are always so much worse when its family! Have you ever gotten into a fight like this before? Has she apologized when she's wrong in the past?

Hopefully she will realize what she's done, be ashamed and ask for forgiveness. Those are just lines that shouldn't be crossed.

Stay positive and just let it go like water off a ducks back. Hugs!