Am I ready for the New Me? ...Yikes!

Feb 07, 2011

I know it's healthier to be of a 'normal' weight; especially in the long run.
...but I mean, I've been the "big, tall doll-faced girl" for as long as I can remember.
At about 6 feet and 359 pounds- I never felt ashamed. I never felt "typical."
Now that my knee is hurt, won't heal properly, and my father died of complications with diabetes-
I find myself quite vulnerable and [actually] terrified of ending up in the same situation.
So, the weight's gotta come off... and so it will... because I'm SO determined.

...but the lingering question remains...
Who will I be when I'm not "Me" anymore?
When the reflection is drastically different and the perception is alterted- WHO will I be then?
(ignore the obvious answer there lol) But really... I feel like Amy Lou will be gone forever.
And I wonder who will take her place. Will friends recognize me? Will people act differently around me?

I'm ready to be stronger and healthier for my future, but I also fear that change. I've been me for so long, I've fought wars being me, and I'm [honestly] gonna miss...ME.


::sigh:: God Speed, I suppose. :)

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