HIGHLY FRUSTRATED.... SURGERY CANCELLED AGAIN!!!

Mar 10, 2011

  I am so frustrated and P.O.  I dont know where to turn.  I started off a few months anxious and excited about a surgery that didnt happen.  I have gone from one doctor to the next and no one has provided me with any answeres.  I can not believe that it has taken me this long to REALLY go NO WHERE!
All I want is some results.  I know that I am emotional eater so - TRUST that this issue is not helping me ANY!     I  cant find a doctor that is effecient with enough patient care to actuall SEE the patient when they come in.  Or one that doesnt have an rediculous fee at my expense due to the failure of one of his colleagues!  Or someone who has office staff that is geniune and compassionat enough NOT to make you feel like a BIG FAT LOSER that you are dealing with internally!
As I take a step back to regroup - I feel that I am SOOO alone.  This walk is the hardest thing I have ever tried to have done.  At one point - life was good!  Home work and personal space was all working for me. I was a Biggest Loser.  As I reflect on how great my Lapband was working, I only wish that I can get my MOJO back.  Since the slippage (3 times) I have spoken to a few docs who explained - why go thru the middle man again.  Then I deal with those who say - You dont look that big - its not always a LOOK - but I know I am big.  I know that 270lbs is not good.  I know that I am tired ALL the time because of my weight and there is nothing worse than thinking about how you lost and went down to 174lbs size 8 (see pictures for proof).  Then I reflect on the friends I had prior to surgery - those who left after surger - and those who are back after the weight gain.  I know - FRIENDS...  I use the term VERY LOSELY!!  I did not take this journey to satisfy anyone but ME!  I am going down this road again for ME...  the hard part is - Its just ME  MYSELF & I!!! 

Where do I start to pick up the pieces??  How do I get back on track.  I am currently looking for a doctor.  I do not have the energy to take another Psych eval, chest xray, nutritional consult, or stress test.  I have a packet that is ready to be handed to the young lady at the desk and sent straight to the insurance company. 

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