Funny how you move on...

Jul 25, 2011

I haven't updated as well as I should have. I meant to keep my profile updated at least yearly. It's funny how you move on to other things so quickly after surgery.

As for an update, I am four years post op as of yesterday. A lot of things have happened. A pregnancy, nursing an infant, weaning, school kids and the things that brings. In total, I have lost nearly 200 lbs. Some days I have! I go up a couple of pounds and down a few here and there. Right now I'm hovering around 142 lbs. My doctor's goal was 145 lbs. When I hit it, I emailed his office and expressed my shock! I remember laughing when the nutritionist  seriously suggested that as my goal with a straight face and a very serious attitude.  I told her that I would be ecstatic with a healthy 200 lbs and if I hit 175 lbs, I'd cry! 

For someone who started out obese from a young age, I have not been this size since second grade or so! Shopping has been an experience. For some reason, I feel like everyone is staring at the fat girl when I go into shops with regular sizes, especially when I visit the intimates section. It is incredibly silly, but still a hang up. It wasn't something I considered an issue before! I also find I don't know how to properly put together outfits. Before it was jeans and tshirts, extra baggy tshirts! Not any more! The shirts have to fit or I am uncomfortable. Another funny thing to have change.

I still worry constantly that things will change and that I will have to struggle with weight gain. So far it has been relatively easy to maintain but I am not confident that age and such won't change that. I guess everyone lives with that constant fear at the back of their mind.

Overall, I am still very happy with my decision to have this surgery. Sometimes I get embarrassed when people ask me how I lost all of the weight. At first I didn't have much of a problem telling them I had surgery but now I pass it off and say things like, "Oh I just eat way less and watch what I eat much more closely!" which is the truth. Granted, if it is someone who I know is contemplation surgery or struggling with their own weight loss, I am honest. But the general public still looks down its nose. The easy way out, I get that a lot. Not so much anyone saying it, but you can see their demenor change and you know that's what they think. Funny thing is that I've had a couple of friends have the surgery and I think it has changed their minds. I always tell people, "It might look easy, and in some ways I guess it is, but it isn't all fun and games. There is a fair amount of work involved and I always deal with getting sick or dumping. Neither of which are pleasant experiences, friend!"

It has been fun though. I enjoy being thin, more than I thought I would. I love that my husband can pick me up and carry me around when he gets the inclination. I am having fun with my kids instead of dreading whatever activity because it would be hot and I'd be miserable or just plain unable to keep up. I marvel at my new body, the one that is thin and not like anything I've ever experienced, it's almost hilarious to me! One thing that I do not enjoy is being cold all the time. During a record breaking heat wave of 105*+ temps for nearly a month, I still get uncomfortable. Especially when going inside after being out for a moment. It would be silly to carry a jacket around with me, but the thought has certainly crossed my mind. It isn't unusual to find me in jeans instead of shorts and me be totally comfortable! Although, when I do finally get hot, it takes forever for me to stop feeling like I'm overheated. Such a weird thing but I will happily live with it!

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