Consultation

Apr 22, 2010

Long day for not very much.  I should have probably just done a phone consultation.  

I waited extra long so that my sister and I could both have our consultation with Dr. Stewart at the same time, and my mom could go with us.  So we left at about 9:30 today, uneventful drive, but we rushed a little at lunch to get to our 2pm appointment.  All to hurry up and wait.  We saw people come in.  And people go out.  And more people go in.  Finally, about 1 hr. 15 minutes after our scheduled appt, we were taken back.  NOT COOL.  You know, I do actually have better things to do than wait around.  Furthermore, I especially booked the 2pm appt. knowing that would give us plenty of time--my sister, who had a shorter drive, did have somewhere to be tonight.  And, she needed to buy a present which we could have been doing instead of sitting for all that time.  We almost had to wait even longer--we were told there was a conference being held.  Ummm...I'm sorry.  I don't understand.  I scheduled our appts a month ago.  Was he running that far behind, or double book?  I dunno, but we told him we couldn't wait any longer.

Thankfully, after that things improved.  Waiting 15, 30 minutes I understand.  But a wait of over an hour is either plain rude, or ill-managed, either of which don't bode well.  So anyway, I really liked Dr. Stewart.  Some on here had mentioned he might seem a little aloof--I did not feel that at all.  I thought he was very thoughtful, conversational, and took time to fully think about and answer my questions.  Unfortunately, I was the one who was rushed (due to their ill planning) and so did not get to ask all of the questions I would have liked.  The other thing that ticked me off was that the office manager had said the consultation was $200, come to find out it was $250.  And of course there were 2 of us!  Maybe they list the price on their website, but I was caught off guard when the number was higher than I had been told.  

I now need to get an EKG, upper GI, and bloodwork.  It would have been nice if they had the capability to do all three of those at their office (of course we would not have had time, but that's another matter).  There is another expense I was shocked to encounter--the upper GI.  I don't know that insurance will cover it.  Anyway, I realize this is an expensive surgery to begin with, but when you start adding all of these little costs, it changes the math--had I known these costs (remember--times two--my sister), we really would have thought twice about Mexico and Dr. Joya instead.

I'm kind of tired now after driving all day, and my emotions are running high.  Before I convinced my sister to have the surgery too, I was leaning toward DS.  I still feel that it's superior, but no way my parents will pay out of pocket for two DS, so VSG it is.  I'm bummed.  I'm mean, even.  I don't know if it was fear, or what, but I was very upset on the drive home about not getting DS.  I knew this reality before today, but it really got to me today.  I'm kind of a "black or white" mentality kind of person anyway, so getting anything short of the best feels like a ripoff.  I personally think that lap band is a big fat failure.  The stats do not give it much claim.  And the stats I've seen for VSG are very similar to lap band.  And, as VSG is purely restrictive, I'm worried that the extra--the I'm going to be thin, and be thin for life extras--aren't there.  My aunt failed RnY.  And it has better stats than VSG!  Also, a very large woman I know had VSG a year ago and has lost "only" 100lbs.  Some of my weight watcher friends have lost more quickly than she has.  I dont' know where this is coming from, but I just feel underwhelmed.  I feel like life will never change and how stupid of me to try.  I wish I could have the DS and know that I have the surgery with the highest success rate.  I feel like VSG is just another diet for me.  The only difference will be that this time I'll be successful at losing weight.  Then I will go through the slow but steady ballooning.  I want to believe it will work.  But I really don't know.  My other concern about VSG is that it seems to work on people who are hungry a lot or eat a lot.  I don't think that's me.  I try not to eat too much, but still 100lbs. overweight!  And, I am typically not hungry.  My weight is not just a function of my hunger.

I know it will be better than what I have at my disposal now, but still, that's not saying a whole lot.  I'm just sick about it!  I want to eat and lose weight and be happy goddammit.  Why does it seem like I never can be???  Why???  WHY???  I guess I just don't want to believe it could work because that would be much harder to take if my expectations are high.  I'm going to do it because I can't stand spending another second in this body.  But I am not happy or totally confident about this surgery.  Yes, yes, it works a lot better than "organic" dieting.  But look at the failure rates, or the people who only lose 50% ewl--clearly these surgeries are not addressing the whole issue.

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