brownblonde
47 Weeks Post Op
Apr 19, 2011
This week: +1.0lbs.Total weightloss: -104.8lbs.
Another week, a gain this time. I really don't have too much to say. Except that it's wonderful to be living. The only downside is realizing just how little living I did the past 23 years. It really bums me out
So last week my sister signed me up for a 5k. Considering I don't exercise, like at all, I thought finishing and in 47:35 was good!
Not the most glamorous pic of me!! I will tell you that I loved the feeling of competition-with myself!
And then Bedlam baseball! Yay!!
kSo now that I have more time I'm going to delve into something I've been thinking about a little bit this week. How do relationships change after weight loss surgery? Well, I can't speak to marriages, or even boyfriend/girlfriend. So I guess I won't be much help! But I have been thinking about my friendships. I'm gonna get this out there: I kinda feel less secure around my long-time friends now. I feel like they know I'm a fraud. They aren't wowed by my transformation like some of those who've come out of the woodwork. They aren't suddenly nice to me. All these things should prove that my weight/appearance never mattered to them and make me MORE comfortable with our friendships. But it doesn't. In many ways I feel like I'll always be the fat girl to them. And while I'm glad that they accepted that girl, I didn't. I moved on. And I am much happier with how I feel and act now. They don't get it. Maybe it seems like an act to them? Insincere? I also wonder to what degree I "settled" before. I guess I still do some, but I let myself be the but of a joke. Hell, most of the time I made the joke myself! I let people not always treat me as I deserved to be treated. And though I don't think my friends necessarily took advantage of me, at least not any more than I took advantage of them, I guess I want more. So I can see how weightloss would shake up really close relationships too. I have a vision for myself, and I am so bold as to expect it and work to achieve it now. Anyone who doesn't see it that way is disposable. And I'm not sorry!
Random strangers are nicer to me now. That's a sad statement. I mean, the most random of places, people strike up conversation. Now, this is Oklahoma and so people are very friendly anyway. But they are way nicer now.
Finally, I did a little experiment. I tried on a couple size 6s--a nine west size 6 cargo pants fit, though tightly, the other one didn't fit (though not too different from how 20's used to fit). Size 8 shorts fit (!!), and a pair of size 8 capris. And then there was that stupid size 10 that did not fit. Go figure. Won't be buying that brand haha. Sure, vanity sizing exists. I'm almost positive. But what does it matter? From 20/22 to 8/10, or 26/28 to 14/16. The point is that the transformation has been huge. And as far as I'm concerned, I love looking at single digits whut whut!
