Self Sabotage

Jul 24, 2014

Apparently I self-sabotage!

So I am pre-op for those of you out there that do not know me and I have a lot of weight to lose.  I have 21 lbs by the time surgery comes around (not scheduled yet) and I am really trying to eat healthy.  I am doing the egg whites in the morning salads for lunch, baking at dinner time instead of frying.   So last night I got Pizza’s for my son and his friends, like four 14 year old boys.  I ate so well yesterday and then I had 2 slices of pizza.  Why you ask…well in my warped rationalizing mind, I spent $30 bucks on Pizza I deserved it! yeah.

I stayed within the 2000 calorie diet plan I put myself on, but my sodium went through the roof.  Hello swollen ankles…

Now today we had a potluck at work.  I was going to pick one or two things that looked healthier.  You know stay away from meatballs (which are horrible for you), and fried chicken that can’t be good.  I did stay away from some stuff, but the chocolate delight dessert was screaming at me, and I had a little. 

I am not going to punish myself like I would normally I am going to wake up tomorrow and eat my egg whites and have my salad for lunch.  I actually feel better when I eat that way anyway, so I am going to rock out to Zumba tonight and hope for the best on Monday come scale time. 

This is why I think the surgery is something I need…I can rationalize all I want, However, if I eat something I shouldn’t  and I am doubled over in pain and want to die . Maybe I will rethink it next time I am presented with the same opportunity!

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