Charms112
Hello My Name is Charmaine and I am an Overeater!
Aug 20, 2014
I did it!!! I finally did it! I went to my first OA meeting!
Its been a crazy few weeks for me. I have been waiting and waiting to get a call from HRRH...still haven't gotten it and that is with me calling and asking what the hold up is. With the waiting and having my family on my case about surgery I was completely feeling overwhelmed with frustration, anxiety and this overall feeling of defeat that I found myself saying...well yelling...SOMETHING has gotta give!! With that I was starting to feel a shift....I was starting to realize that I need to start looking at my head and try to understand why the words my family were saying were getting to me so badly, as well as, why waiting was driving me insane. It hit me...immediate gratification. I want everything now! Not in a week, not in a month...NOW! Instead of dealing with these feelings I had learned over the years to eat my way through the waiting period and suppress the feelings that waiting, family discourse, stress at home, boredom all make me feel inside. I can't distract myself anymore with food because I now realize that food is a diversion and an unhealthy solution. The crazy part is...I found that I could not justify my "reasons" anymore because they were not real...they were excuses. WHOA...freaked me right out! Now me being a bit of a realist I asked myself...Ok so what's next...because I know that I can't rely on this epiphany to last forever especially when a funnel cake is calling my name!
Well that lead to me challenging the "reason" why I hadn't gone to a OA meeting yet. 2 years ago I was told to check them out...I checked and could only find a meeting in Etobicoke. "Well that is too far" was my mantra all they way until my friend said...Charmaine that is like 20 min from Brampton! LOL!! I can't believe I was using that as a barrier when it takes me 20 to get across Brampton to take my kids to dance like 3 times a week! I am laughing out loud as I write the btw! Anyway, I went online to get the address and found that there are 2 groups in Mississauga...1 being like 10 min from me. Ok so apparently the groups have been running for like 25 years in those locations. Talk about excuses eh?!
I went!! I wasn't nervous too because I felt so ready to accept that I have to make changes. I met amazing people...people who know exactly what I was going through. People who had had the surgery too and are still coming which was SO comforting because I knew that I will need this support before and after the surgery! I tell you for me nothing beats being in front of people and having someone look you in the eye and say "I know what you are going through. The best thing I took away from the meeting was that what happened yesterday cannot be redone and I ain't psychic so there is know point in stressing about tomorrow...one day at a time. The change process is going to take a life time...a lifetime of getting it right and sometimes getting it wrong...but when it does go wrong I can own it and start again...and that's ok.
Can I tell you that its been about a week and the urge to overeat has significantly decreased...One day at a time. I'll keep you all posted
Bless
