Geeze -- Long Sorrow.

May 25, 2010

Laid off unexpectedly last October.
Guess almost 4 years of working with people doesn't mean anything. Not a call from anyone.
We were house shopping but had to change to rental.
We had to walk away from our townhouse. Did Obama's plan really help anyone?
Moved in mid-November.
My Mom came to visit during Thanksgiving.
Loved planning meals for each day. Tried new recipes and added to my repitoire.
Got a really bad cold.
Richard's Mom came for Christmas and New Year's.
Loved planning meals for each day. Tried new recipes and added to my repitoire.
Had a really bad bout of flu.
Sammy got really sick and we almost lost him.
I had two and a half weeks of feeding him by tube every three hourse and giving nine medications per day.
Sick again.
Super fatugued. Not going on FB or OH.
Had septoplasty surgery in April. It was more painful and taking longer to heal than I expected.
Struggling with self doubt about a career in real estate.
Wondering if I'll be a success.
Haven't studied in 6 weeks.
Selft esteem is in the toilet. Don't even mention my weight issues.
Sick again last week, couldn't keep any food down at all. You'd think I'd lose a pound or two.

Quarterback Monday I guess.
I held all of this in until last Saturday.
I ddin't realize how much sorrow and stress was building inside. Avoiding. Pretending.
Had a huge cry (thank you for the jump start Phenomenon).
I'm feeling more in tune with my body and monitoring closely.
The flight response that emmanates from my tummy has loosened.
I'm still working on trying to get a good night's sleep but I think it will come along soon.
It's getting easier to pull up my bootstraps.

Here's hoping I've turned a corner for the better.

All prayers gratefully accepted.

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