I feel repulsed

Feb 20, 2011

I took some pictures today  and I thought ...O.K.  they didn't come out too bad.  I loaded them onto my computer and looked at them again and I felt sick to my stomach. I am huge!!!! It really repulsed me looking at these pictures.   I always knew I was heavy  and it's not that I don't look in the mirror but I guess seeing all sides ( although there was no squareness to my body ..it is all round) really shook me up.  I can remember times when I would feel down about my weight and sometimes turn to food for comfort (how stupid is that) but I can tell you now, the only Food not liquid going into my mouth till surgery is going to be my vitamins and maybe.......some salad.   If I am repulsed this much ...how can anybody else not be.  I know that this surgery is more needed than anything else in my life.  I thank  God for having this opportunity , the insurance, and all people that are involved and supportive.    I so need this!!

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