dwilliams1913
Snail Movement, But Movement None The Less!
Nov 05, 2011
I have lost another three pounds. It's been hard staying on this journey. I found that I was afraid of losing the Diona that I had become. Though I am still super morbidly obese, I have lost a total of 71 pounds to date. Losing that weight has caused my life to change in many ways. I am more aware of a world that surrounds me that I wasn't fully conscious of 71 pounds ago. I always knew that I liked art, literature, and the company of others, but I am a bit more comfortable going to museums and attending social functions now. I must admit, though my life has changed for the better, I have also lost some friends along the way. Some people looked at the new confident Diona and did not like what they saw and one person readily admitted that I was acting as if I weren't myself. What that person didn't realize was that I wasn't acting or putting on a facade at all. The person she was seeing was the real Diona. What hurt me the most is when I realized that she really didn't like the real me. The thought of losing my friends caused me to stop in my tracks and my weight lose halted altogether. I began to question whether or not I wanted this new world that might be full of new people and exciting ventures, but that would be void of some of my present good friends. It took my younger cousin to help me understand that we as people should change throughout our lives, and as painful as it may be to accept, that change can act as a whirl wind, vibrantly blowing new people into our lives, but briskly blowing others out of our lives. I made the decision not to mourn the death of an old life that was extremely limited by obesity, but to celebrate a new life that was full of endless possibilities. I thank God for his strength everyday. There have been several times throughout this journey that I have felt lost, confused, and saddened, but the all wise God of infinite wisdom, love and grace picked me up and carried me during those times of weakness and insecurity. He is an awesome God. I can't speak enough of His goodness and kindness. I wouldn't be here today without God. He is my Alpha and Omega and the author and finisher of my race.
I am working hard to get the last 29 pounds off of me, which would put me at a total weight lose of 100 pounds before the surgery! In regards to the surgery, I am checking over paper work and making sure that my surgeon's office has all of the pertinent information that is needed for insurance approval. This process is like buying a house. When buying a home, your realtor may ask you to go back and get forms and information that you have already submitted to him or her, or he or she may ask for updated information, or information in a specific format. Sometimes, you begin to feel like a ping pong ball being shot here and there! LOL! Hopefully, in the end, you will have a beautiful home and would have made a wise investment that will yield you many fruitful years of return. That is how I am looking at this surgery. Getting the paper work together for the insurance is tiring, to say the least, but ultimately all of the hard work and running around will pay off, and the insurance company will approve my surgery, which will change my life in many ways.
The surgery scheduler at my surgeon's office that is working with me to ensure that I have all of the proper documentation for insurance approval told me she would call the OR to see if December 21st or 22nd are open to schedule my surgery. I intend to follow up with her this week to see what she was told. I have a very close sorority sister that plans to travel from Oklahoma to be here with me for surgery and I need to give her a date so that she can purchase her plane ticket in a timely fashion. Another one of my BFFs will be traveling from Jersey to check on me post op in January or February. There is nothing like the connections and bonds you make in college. My college experience was wonderful and I have awesome friends and sorority sisters to prove it! LOL!
I have decided to start drinking Optifast meal replacement shakes in order to help me get the last 29 pounds off before surgery. The shakes do not taste horrible, but drinking the same shakes everyday is redundant and a bit boring. No matter how repetitive or dull it may seem, I intend to stay the course.
I'll give an update in two more weeks. Until then, may the Lord of all Lords, Jesus Christ, continue to lead and guide you on your journey.
