Four weeks!

Aug 20, 2014

Wow, it's gone by fast. I go back to work in 12 days. I thought I would miss being at work but I haven't. I'm lucky in that I really enjoy my job and my coworkers, but I've found that a) recovery keeps me busy and b) I keep myself busy! My walks have been a joy, although after a strenuous walk I always pay for it with an extra tired day. I've taken this opportunity to visit wildlife preserves and botanical gardens to get my walks in. It's been a joyful experience. 

I start soft foods today. I'm excited about cold cuts! I like no-fuss, convenient options. I also have a freezer full of food I prepared at the beginning of purees. It's not all pureed but even if it was, I wouldn't mind eating it. I haven't minded what I eat but I would love to get to a point where I didn't need two protein shakes a day to meet my protein goals. I could get there if I were allowed to eat food and not the shakes but they want us eating three meals a day...

Physically, I'm mostly doing well. I had some pain emerge last week, deep inside. Just a dull ache. I think it's just healing going on. Emotionally, it's been another story. Prior to surgery, my emotional eating episodes had been REAL but I had also gotten to a point where they were few and far between. When I think back to other times in my life, they were really rampant. Of course, once I discovered low carb diets, I also found that it's hard to distinguish carb addict cravings and true emotional eating. But since surgery, I have had a few bonafide emotional episodes that made me want to binge, and then felt frustrated because I couldn't. I had one yesterday and I just wound up wandering Target, frustrated and lonely and upset that I couldn't eat. I picked up some t-shirts (it also made me angry how pathetic their plus size selection is) and then put them back. And I went home to sulk a bit.

When I feel the urge to emotionally eat, it's like this gnawing, restless need for comfort. And I cast about now for something different, something to buy, but that's dangerous territory too. 

Anyway, I know this is temporary and I look forward to settling down and living with the sleeve.

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