Seminar today

Jun 19, 2010

Went to seminar today...first step..made my bariatric appt for June 28 which is my bday and the beginning of my new world hopefully!  I will set my surgery date then..which I plan on having in August.  I was very surprised at my emotions today..when the gastric bypass patient talked i began to tear up...Then she walked over and as we talked i started crying..it was unreal.  I wasn't expecting that.  I am so ready for this to happen as I realized today how unhappy I have been in my body.  I sat and listen to everyone talk about giving up their foods,etc..or how difficult it will be..and i found myself thinking I don't care how difficult it is i want this.  I don't care if i can't eat but a small amount I want to live and I don't want my world revolving around food but being happy.  Because food has got me nowhere...just miserable..So I am very excited but also very emotional..and my mom who is sooo excited ..doesn't understand the emotional part..she thinks i should just be happy..I tried telling her that there were going to be emotions all over the place...and i needed her to understand that.  She loves me and wants to see me healthy i know.  Anyway..i found myself stressing also about getting off of work for appts and such...My job is not very allowing to just taking off when u need it..so i am hoping my partners will be supportive.  I am not worrying about the surgery time off which i am surprised of myself..b/c that is happening no matter..They can cover it..or not....I need to learn to be selfish this once...its sooo hard....

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