My thoughts on my surgery

Jul 13, 2010

July 13, 2010
Today someone posted some questions and invited responses. In answering I was able to put some thoughts together that I have only been able to think of piecemeal. It has done me good to reflect, so I thought I'd share these thoughts.

The questions were:
1.What was your primary reason for having wls?
2. How has your life changed since having wls?
3. How have others perceptions of you changed?
4. What have some of your challenges been both before and after surgery?
5. Specifically what have been the changes in your health since surgery?
6. What was the specific moment when you realized you needed to have wls?
7. What have you been able to do or accomplish since having surgery?
8. What would you tell someone who was considering having wls?

Here is how I answered those questions.

1.My primary reason for having the surgery was that my health was deteriorating, I had/have chronic pain issues, and I could see myself in 10 years either dead or housebound or on a motorized scooter. I knew I could not lose it and keep it off, again, so I had to confront the inevitable. Have surgery or have lousy quality of life. Get healthy and active or not be able to enjoy our grandchildren and give up doing just about everything I enjoy.

2. Ways my life has changed since surgery? Oh my! I am not that far out, but began losing weight in Feb. so I was down 21lbs. by my surgery date. I'm down a total of 44lbs. and have 17 to go. I am much more active, with far less pain. I am enjoying life, participating in activities with my grandchildren, have more self confidence and self respect. I did this, ME! WOW! I am also hopeful for the first time in years, am off some of my meds and down on dosage on others, look good, and I am considering doing things that I haven't done in years. I've also begun to think of things I'd like to do that I figured I was too old, fat, disabled, or just not able to do, prior to surgery. In short, I've begun to live life again.

3. The changes in others perception of me? Well, my family is excited for me, happy that I can do more and have less pain, DH thinks I'm beautiful (He did before, too), and all are really proud of me. My sister from out of state said that "Now I look like how she always thinks of me". An old childhood friend (who looks likes she is 20 years younger than the rest of us) sent me a Facebook message last week after I finally posted a pic of myself, and said "I look great and really young"! Go Me! I had avoided our 40 year class reunion because I was ashamed of how I looked. What I'm seeing from people who know me casually or not at all is that I am no longer invisible.

4. What were my challenges pre and post op? First was just deciding to investigate a surgical option. Then, and probably the biggest was thinking I was worth spending the money on. The financial factor has been a tough one for us. Also, facing myself as I really was. That was hard, hard, hard. Finally, starting to eat as if I was post surgery before I had surgery. I panic-ed!
Since surgery the struggles have been with staying motivated to eat like I should, stop grazing, and staying active. It would be very easy to return to my old patterns because they are the most comfortable for me. With that in mind my challenge is to get to a point where my new lifestyle is the most comfortable place for me. That is going to take quite a while.

5.Specific changes to my health have been, as I said before, being off some meds because I no longer need them, cutting the doses of others because I don't need so much. I no longer need my C-Pap, either.I no longer am diabetic, I no longer have high cholesterol, I no longer have a hideous waist to height ratio, and I no longer have as much pain as before. I am at a point where I am uncomfortable, rather than having debilitating pain. .This has come from 44lbs of giant belly no longer hanging off a fragile spine. No one and no surgery can replace the fact that I am riddled with spinal arthritis and the fact that I already have osteoporosis, but I feel so much better that my pain specialist is absolutely thrilled.

6. The specific moment when I realized that I needed to have surgery came last Dec. (2009) when the blood work I had done in preparation for my yearly physical came back. My cholesterol was at 489, I was officially over the line into type 2 diabetes, and my blood pressure medication had to be doubled because the previous dose no longer controlled it. These things coupled with the fact that I have a horrible family history of cardiac problems and diabetes, plus I was turning 60 in a couple of months made me realize if I didn't act now I would die. That was my wake up call. I could no longer joke about it, put it off, deny it, nor brush it off as "someday".

7. The things I have been able to do and accomplish are amazing to me. At Easter 2010 I could walk 10-15 minutes, sometimes only 5 minutes, without severe pain and huffing and puffing the whole time. Now I can walk for an hour without additional pain, have no huffing or puffing unless I am climbing a steep hill at the end of a walk, I can go faster than a waddle, and enjoy myself. I can bend over to tie my shoes and breath at the same time. I am considering getting a bike to ride for the first time in 40 years, and might even try some jogging. I claimed mowing our lawn as my exercise, too, and instead of being able to do 10 minutes maximum at a time, I can to the whole 45 minutes without stopping except for drinks. I even have more stamina and energy for my housework. I'm getting ready to do some volunteer work, too, plus I am strongly considering returning to my beloved career as a paramedic, part time, and am ready to complete my nursing degree. Go, go, go Me!

8. What I would tell anyone considering this surgery is "Don't wait until "someday" My biggest regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Also, "Don't be afraid" It is a simple procedure and a very easy recuperation. Finally I would tell that person "Know matter how you feel about your self, you are worth it. You are worth the financial investment, you are worth the effort and hard work (because it is truly very hard work), and you are capable of doing what it takes to succeed. You deserve better than you have given yourself. No matter whether you have been obese all your life or just a few years, you can succeed, for life, you can do it. You owe it to yourself and your family will benefit from having you with them longer and by you having more energy to participate in life with them instead of being on the sidelines.

Thank you for allowing me to put these thoughts together. One more step on my road to recovery.
Sue

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