Does the fat lady still live?

Nov 27, 2010

Yes! And she always will. Let me tell you what I know about her. I worked hard, lost to my goal and under. Have great restriction, early restriction, picture perfect luck. But even though I have changed in so many ways she is still with me. Is that bad? Well, yes and no.

I have been feeling my way around this maintenance thing for about two months. I have made plans for dealing with various situations, which is a really good thing. If you fail to plan you plan to fail is really true. Do my plans always work? Ummmm...... NO!
 
My latest plan was for Thanksgiving. I knew I would eat a little of everything. I knew that it would include pie later in the day, along with my beloved stuffing with dinner. Then I would send all the leftovers home with my kids. I would have a few days of craving carbs but if the worst offenders weren't here they wouldn't get to me. HA! Problem one; The kids didn't cooperate. Daughters one and four forgot to include taking leftovers in their plans. Daughter one stayed here until midnight, daughter four had to go to work right after dinner then came back to pick up her sister and they went shopping from midnight until 7 pm. yesterday. No leftovers left until then. Daughter two is in heaven so I can't blame her except she didn't bother to train her sons to eat pie! The nerve! Son, (number three) was here from Mississippi and stayed with us. He is a beanpole and eats pie, but not a lot, and stuffing is only with the meal. Hubby dared to have all his upper teeth pulled earlier in the week. He only ate mushies, including the filling from the pumpkin pie. No one bothered with the pecan pie. Jerks. Not a one of the seven grandchildren who were here cooperated. Dang brats. So, here I was with my grand plan, and fat lady made her appearance. I kept going back to that darned pecan pie. Over and over, a bit at a time. Including, (here I blush), at 4 am yesterday when I got up to prepare for my shopping trip with my mother and sister. Before my coffee. Feeling a bit "stuckish". In the dark cold house before I even put my glasses on. That puppy called my name until there was only one piece left. Then, being very virtuous, I dumped it in the trash. I will have you know I didn't even go back for it. See how dedicated I am? The stuffing and one other pie gave me trouble until this morning when I immersed them in water and took it all to my composter.

The fat lady lives. Yeah, that part was bad. Failure? No, not at all. A learning experience is all. Two and a half days do not make a failure. Months and never coming back? Yes. You see I am learning the difference. My plan to have some of everything was not bad as long as I know that it cannot continue and that I have gotten to the point where it will not send me into a wild binge. Am I beating myself up? No. You see, I have learned that my plan, while both good and bad, needs to be modified before the next round of holidays. I have learned a thing or two (just what I knew before) and I can choose to stay here and wallow in it or I can move on. I can use it as an excuse to continue or I can choose to say I had a two day set back.

The only reason I decided to post this is that I don't want new people to think that there is any state of perfection, or that obesity can be cured by having any surgery. It can't, it is all up to us. Some of us have to stay away from our trigger foods forever, some can have controlled amounts. All of us are in danger of returning to our former lives, bar none. We are healing but not cured. Make plans for weight loss, for dealing with trigger points, with life in general but always remember, we are just one bite away from the edge of the abyss.

Will I do it again? Probably. I hope not, but I know from experience that I learn the hard way. Will I make it through? I hope so. I have a whole knew set of tools, including my band, I have learned new ways of thinking and eating and actually enjoy it. Will I always make good choices? Not likely, but I hope I can make more wise choices in my new life than poor ones.
That is a very good thing.

One thing I do know, No more pecan pie unless someone else brings it and takes it home! It is obviously one of my nemesis's.

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