Baby steps?

Sep 30, 2014

Hey, check me out: I finally (FINALLY) made an appointment to see the ARNP! (This is basically to make up for an appointment I missed in...January.) I went and got my blood drawn, did a 24-hour urine collection (always a glamorous good time), and then went back for another blood draw because my surgeon's office wanted me to get checked for copper levels for some reason. No idea why: too much? Too little? I guess I'll find out when I go in for my actual appointment...in November. First appointment I could get on a day I was actually available is in early November. So that's probably not ideal but whatever, at least I picked up the phone and called. 

Still seeing the counselor and feeling in a lot of ways pretty sane, but to be honest I'm still struggling with behaviors that aren't helping my health. (Eating too much, eating the wrong things. Eating vast quantities of the wrong things.) It's frustrating because I feel like I should be OK, that I have a reasonable understanding of why I feel compelled to eat so much, and so many things that aren't good for me, and if I understand and want to stop—why am I not stopping? I don't know. I have my really bad days and my not-so-bad days and my pretty-okay days, and I'm just trying to move further away from really bad, closer to pretty-okay. I miss being a Good Patient and want to get back there. I'm happy with my counselor. She's very kind as well as smart and insightful, and is a bariatric patient herself so she knows where her patients are coming from. I think the next big step I need to take is making time for support group meetings. I've never been, and that is a mistake. 

Positives: I've actually been getting some exercise semi-consistently? I hate that I dropped that habit around the time I stopped going to my followup appointments. But I'm making it happen again, more evenings than not. If nothing else I gotta get my exercise back to where it needs to be. And my water consumption. I don't drink enough water. That used to be easy; when did it get difficult? (Probably this time last year when I started overeating, actually. Makes it tough to get all the water you're supposed to drink when you're eating too much.)

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I am super tired and cranky and it shows in the poor quality of this blog post. 

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