ramble

Sep 16, 2010

I am wondering when my insides will catch up to my outsides. I get told all day everyday that I look great and I am so skinny and omg noone can believe its me. And trust me I am not complaining about the compliments. I do love them. Sometimes they are a little awkward to accept but I do still love them. Lately I find myself laying in bed at night and just squeezing my rolls, analyzing every ounce of fat I still have on my 5'1 frame. I am starting to drive myself a little insane. I compare myself to girls that I have no right even standing next to. I just want my brain to be at a comfortable place with the body its inside of. The crappiest part of the whole bypass thing is that I feel like now I am thinner and I am wearing awesome clothes and getting dressed up all the time. I feel like people notice though what I look like constantly so I just never have those days anymore where I go to work with no makeup/no hair done. I miss those days. Where I was just the invisible fat girl in the corner taking calls at a call center coming and going without anyone noticing. but do I really miss those days??
Idk... I guess this is just a ramble after all.

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