Changes....again.

Sep 11, 2010

I haven't posted in about 8 months.  So much has changed in this time.  We are no longer in a shelter, we are no longer in Texas.  I am still unemployed, but am in college full time in Denver.  I qualified for Medicaid here, so I have full medical coverage through them and Medicaid DOES cover bariatric surgery. 


This time 3 years ago, I was 215 pounds and walking 3 miles a day.  I was a regular participant in charity walks and my rheumatologist had just cleared me to start running/jogging as tolerated.   This time 2 years ago,  I was about 225 and had stopped the charity walks b/c my (now ex) partner didn't want to do them.  I had let her move back in with the boys and had just started taking Byetta for diabetes and weight management after trying HMR (HRM?) weight loss through my (now former) employer.  I only lost about 18 pounds on that and ended up gaining it back and then some.  In September 2008, I had NO idea that I would get hit with what I was about to deal with in just 6 short months.

My reconciliation with my ex was unsuccessful and we spent a lot of time fighting or mad at each other.  The stress of supporting 7 people on a Medical Assistant's salary, the arguing and the very disrespectful teenager living in my home took it's toll on me.  My fibro starting flaring nearly constantly and rheumatology kept putting me on steroids, which made me moody and I gained a significant amount of weight.

In February 2009 we found mold in my apartment in Texas and had to fight to get out of my lease.  In March 2009, one of my twin girls (two years old at the time) ended up hospitalized after a bad reaction to mold.  I had to get HUD and Austin Tenants' Council involved.  There was an eviction filed and dismissed by the courts.  We were granted a clean break in the lease and moved out April 30, 2009....into a hotel.  The oldest boy had gone to live with his father in January 2009 after much stress and drama, so we had 6 people living in one hotel room.  That was 2 adults, 1 pre-teen and 3 toddlers.  The first hotel we were kicked out of for having too many people in the room.  We spent a few weeks sleeping on people's couches then a church helped us get into an Extended Stay America, where we ended up staying for 6 months.  I was paying $1100 a month and ended up having to go on FLMA intermittant leave b/c my fibromyalgia flared so badly.  I was trying to balance part time school, full time work (being the ONLY adult working, mind you), a very bad relationship and living with 5 people in an extended stay hotel room (the preteen went to live with his father in June 2009).   My job performance started to faulter after 3 years of perfect reviews and raises.  My final review before I lost my job in January was still "okay" but not above expectations like years past.  My doctor was getting frustrated b/c I was missing so much work and the other staff and floats didn't know what to do with my desk, etc.  

After my ex moved to CA with the baby in November 2009, the girls and I moved into a shelter program for single moms and their children.  At that point, I was about 250 and holding steady b/c of the Byetta.  We went to Denver over Christmas to see my dad for the first time in 16 years and I decided at that point that I wanted to move back to Colorado.  I made plans to move in May at the end of the Spring 2010 semester.  Well.  Things didn't quite work out as planned.  On January 13, I lost my job of over 3 1/2 years after being taken out of my regular position with my doc and was placed in the float pool.  This is what they do with people who they want to get rid of but can't for legal reasons.  My daughters both woke up with pink eye on the morning of the 13th and I had already exceeded the number of allowed absences at work.  My back up babysitter wasn't answering her phones or IM, email, etc. and no one else could watch them.  I was let go that afternoon by HR.

I applied and got unemployment but lost my child care funding shortly after I lost my job.  The shelter said that since I don't have child care and don't qualify for TANF, therefore, qualify for child care funding, I wouldn't be able to stay there for much longer.  I moved to Colorado on March 10 (arriving on the 13th).  

I have been in Colorado for 6 months now and although many good things have happened (I found love...I have never been in love before), my weight continues to climb.  I am now 267 pounds (at the weigh in at Student Health Services on August 25).  I have to use a disabled placard for my van b/c the tendonitis in my achilles tendons makes walking tough at times.  I am now heavier than I was the day I delivered my twin girls (I was 248 on that day...before the C-section).  I have gained 72 pounds since September 2006.  I was diagnosed as hypertensive 3 weeks ago and my cholesterol is probably sky-high.  I am aways out of breath, and I keep throwing my back out doing things that someone my age should have NO problems doing.  I can't keep up with my 4 year old twins and the depression from the weight gain is nearly crippling.  My fibro isn't as bad in Colorado, but we haven't hit winter yet, either.  My PCOS is out of control and I am losing hair on my head, but gaining it on my face.  I am now in a 46-48 pants/shorts and a 2-3x shirt.  (men's sizes...in womens it's 26-28)  I can no longer buy off the rack at Gap or Old Navy like I used to be able to do.  This upsets me.

I worry about all the pain I'm in.  I worry about my future health.  How will I get into the Nursing Program at this weight or bigger when I can barely lift my 54 pound child?  As of today, I am NOT fit for duty and need to get this weight off to let the tendons heal, get my PCOS back in control and start exercising again.  My Wii is collecting dust and needs to be used, dammit!

0 Comments