Old Pics

Feb 17, 2010

This past weekend I was looking for baby pics of my oldest girl for a Yearbook dedication for her senior year, so I pulled out boxes and boxes of photos....as expected I began to look at all the photos, reminiscing.  But while looking though the piles of pics, it suddenly dawned on me,  most of the pics I had of my self were face pics. from my chest up.  I had the same smile, if you could even call it that, like a half smile.  Like "I'm not really liking this, right now, but I'll smile cuz you're supposed to smile" kinda thing.  And then I realized that the few I had of my body were candid shots taken "against my will"....well no one really tied me up and forced me to take pics, but what I mean is I wasn't "ready".  That sux.  Cuz at least when you know you're gonna be in a pic, you can hide behind someone, fade into the background, or grab a pillow, jacket, something to strategically place on your stomach to look "thinner", no not these....These were me in my glory, big lovely lady lumps in all the wrong places, side views w/ double and triple chins.  Very uncomfortable to look at.  And I thought I was bomb, thought what I had on was so "trendy", nothing trendy about big floral prints, moo-moo like fabrics.  Needless to say, I gathered all the pics and put em away where they belonged, in my dark closet on the highest shelf, out of reach, out of sight.  I can't wait to be able to take a photo and actually feel good about how I came out.  I'm tired of doing the "my space" shots where I lift my camera way above me and pose looking up so I can look thinner than I really am or have my child climb onto the couch and take a picture of me downward for the same effect.  I wanna be able to strike a pose, whenever wherever, not hide and actually smile cuz I wanna, not smile cuz I have to.  By the way, I did find great baby pics of my soon to be graduate.....all good!

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