I am lucky to have the ones that love me!

Mar 26, 2012

 I have been with many emotions all day with things.  My mom came down to take me to my now neurologist doctor today.   Very grateful as my fiancé had to work.   He would have taken time off work to take me but mom is off work until next monday and so she is trying to help out.  I had my MRI last Friday.  They did a contrast.  This was to see my head..brain.   Today the good news is there is still no evidence of a bleed and no tumor.   However the doctor said,  I am sick and he is not sure what the diagnosis is for sure.   Having my mom there helped as she is a nurse and understood more than I did.   Basically u til more tests are done I will not know actual diagnosis.  Basically I am going to have to have spinal fluid pulled out and for a opening pressure measurement as this is very important.  I also have to have a abdominal and pelvic cat scan.   I will be seeing a soecialist in optometry.  After the spinal I will have to start taking a medicine called Diamox 500 mg daily (doctor said it is a medicine that mountain climbers that go into extreme altitudes have to take due to pressures in their heads from the heights).   He said the pressures in my heads are dangerous.   It is a matter of finding the diagnosis to treat it.   I am really scared of the spinal fluid removal.   I had a terriable past experience and am horrified.   I would rather be cut completely open!  I am trying to be strong.   My nerves are going crazy.   
I will then be seeing my neurologist again for follow up next week sometime.   He said this has to happen fast.   Tomorrow I will be going to my anticoagulation appointment as I am on blood thinners.   I have had to be on blood thinners for nearing like 15 years.   The neurologist says this is not good as it creates many problems with long term use.  I am only 40 years old.   Ok, so he was asking about when I was diagnosed with the clots and so forth.   I told him at the time back then that they went by guesstimating due to the test that could not be done due to my weight.  He said he is going to try to get to the bottom of things.   At some point I know my PCP would like me off of the blood thinners if possible.  
Then when I am done with the anticoagulation clinic I will be heading out to the Virginia Mason Hospital to see my plastic surgeon Dr. Keith Page.   I am pretty sure that my two last drainage tubes will be removed!   I also will be having the stitches removed from my pannectomy.   I am nervous and excited about this.  I pray that the incision stays closed.  Just a busy day and not with out of course my headaches from whatever is going on neurologically.  

I have to say though that I have the best fiancé in the world, he has been with me for the past 4 years (nearly 4) and loves me to the core!  I love him to the core!!  We topped off the night with a with a overflowing toilet full of my poop poo.  I could not get to the water shutoff and so hence it was a shitty nimess.   Toppers of the shitty day.   Bless my fiancé he hagg gagginly hopped to clean it all up and was so helpful.   Good attitude and genuine concern and care.  Meanwhile I cry.  What a blubbering baby I have been in the last few days.   Aunt flow came and that has not helped.   However I am so grateful she came to visit late instead of the day of my pannectomy surgery as it was scheduled.   So I am thankful in the midst.    
The prednisone that I am still having to take is not helping with my weightloss and I am trying to not weigh but it is so hard not to.   Scared of going backwards.   Brain thinks food all day long.  It is a fight for me right now to not want to eat the house down.  
I will and am going to do this!

Yesterday I took a walk on the threadmill and that did feel good.   I need to be released to work out.  Today will be tomorrows history.   I always look forward to change and the future.   I can only do the best that I can do with today and hope for the future.   Keep my past in in memory to learn from.  

Hugs for now,
PIZZA know this was a longer post and maybe just a jumbled up mess of my thoughts and so froth.   It is what it is.

Hugs again,
Sherrrie

Then tomorrow when I am d

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