MissCricket
A Horror of a Marriage
Sep 19, 2011
Disgusted with myself at 300 lbs., I decided to turn to my family doctor for help. He suggested surgery (by Dr. MacDonald, at the time) and I was very excited about the idea. My mother warned me that it was not as easy as it sounded. She had her stomach "stapled" in the 1970's by Dr. MacDonald and lost a tremendous amount of weight, but then gained it all back and then some. She now sits at around 450 lbs. I was and am convinced I could make the surgery work for me, but it meant a lifestyle change, not a miracle. So began the dreaded Obesity Clinic list....Since leaving the love of my teenage life in 1998, I had not spoke to him or seen him, so you can imagine my surprise one day when I ran in to him. I remember feeling ashamed of my appearance as I had gained so much weight since the last time I saw him, but he either didn't notice or didn't care and our romance kicked back into high gear and a year later we were married.
Unfortunately, adulthood had changed him from a sweet, naive teenage boy to a sometimes bitter and angry grown-up. We thought we could get through anything as long as we were together and that love could conquer all. He became an alcoholic and very abusive in many different ways and I found myself thinking of ways i could hurt myself... or ways I could escape life because I was so miserable. He would berate me and put me down on a daily basis. He would humiliate me and succeeded in alienating me from all of my close friends. I buried myself in emotional eating and binging. So many times I would be driving home from work and knowing what was waiting for me. I would will myself to veer my car off the road and into a light pole, or over a bridge, ANYTHING to avoid going home and facing my nasty husband. It was a dark time in my life... the worst even, in fact. But, you know what they say, it's always darkest before dawn. I now weighed approximately 400 lbs.
