amanda J.
Now What??
Feb 24, 2010
Okay so I have my date and am about what 3-4 weeks away. I wish I could say that I am as excited about it as I was a week or 2 ago, but I'm not. I am stressing so much that my eating habits are sucking and I have been losing and gaining the same 2 pounds for the last 2 weeks.
I have begun to notice that people are trying to talk me out of it and it seems to be the ones that I would have thought would be more supportive. Well.... I don't know. One is my male friends, and event though there are only a couple who I told, they are against it. And to top it off, my best male friend who had weight loss surgery was the biggest one of all! 
I thought he would be one of my biggest supporters; he says I am beautiful just the way I am. He also stated " You have a natural beauty, and many people try to achieve this through weightloss and surgery but are never able too. You have it naturally, and once you start trying to change that, you change everything." Although I trully value what he says and I really appreciated the compliment I was a little bummed that he felt this way. Then a couple days later I was told almost the same thing again by 2 other guys. WTF, okay I know this is not just for medical reasons but also as a self esteem journey too, so why can't they support me??
Then there is my mother, who seemed fine with everything the whole time I was going to appointments and trying to make goal weight; but as soon as I got my date it changed. Now its the constant "Are yousure?" questions or the well you know this is permament and we should talk about this. It pisses me off because she of all people should want me to get this done. I mean I am a single mom and come from her family who is strong diabetics, weight problems, heart problems, you name it they got it. Not only do I need to do this for myself but also to ensure I don't put my kids through what I'm going through now with my mother. My mom is so sick now that she is disabled and living with me, she can get out if she wanted but do to some depression and immune system issues she never really leaves the house. I don't want to do that to my kids when they are older. Sore subject, onto another one......
