in just days...

Nov 29, 2014

Its just a few days from surgery and what happens? I wake up with a low grade fever feeling rather unwell. I can't imagine this being something more than just a 24 hr deal and forcing my surgery date to be moved. After all, my surgery was moved up by a week so that my husband could spend more post operative time with me. He has accepted a contract in the middle east as a private contractor for a few years. As it stands, he'll be leaving in December, and our son and I will be staying here. Who knows though, perhaps he'll find that life there would be worth us moving to join him and I'll be writing this blog from the desert!!

Regardless, I hope this is just a passing thing and my surgery date will not be changed. Of course there is the additional fact that I cant sleep much at night. My irrational fears of a blood clot, stroke or infection have begun haunting me endlessly as soon as I try and shut my eyes. And, of course there's the fear that my liver is too large and will prevent them from performing the surgery all together...yes, its true that medical professionals make the worst patients, but in my case, its only because I know to much and all of it is out of my control. It is what it is and I have to accept it and just take the leap of faith...right onto a slab of surgical steel.

ah well, as always, lovingly yours,

sleepless in south florida

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