Day #4

Feb 20, 2010

Well, it's day 4 since I decided to change my life and my lifestyle, but, really day 1 of the TRUE change.  I've been doing really well, so far, today.  Can't complain too much, and I'm really not all that hungry.  A little bit jittery, because my body is used to me eating WAY more calories than this.

So, I got on my bathroom scales this morning, just so I could see where I was actually starting out.  They showed 280, so, either they are off, or, I wasn't as bad the last two days, as I thought I was.  Anyway, I will be going by what they say, from here on out, so, we'll take 280! :)

If I can do pretty well on my own, then I won't need WLS.  I can lose the weight, I believe.  The problem is always my gaining it back.

I need someone to stay on my ass when I start inching up again.  An extra 5 or 10 pounds is NOT okay, because that leads to 15 or 20 or 160!!  Tried to talk to Katie about this, but, am afraid she didn't take me all that seriously.  This IS serious!  It is my LIFE.  If I don't do this I WILL die!  That's all there is to it.  It's a fact.

I'm in no position right now, to die.  There are too many things on my plate, still.  My new granddaughter, Marietta is on her way and Katie will need me during and after that.  My son still needs to get out on his own, and stand on his own two feet.
There's just too much to do!

About the WLS...I don't have any insurance.  I researched the cash price and the best I can come up with, I need at least $13,000.  It might as well be 13 million.  My credit sucks, so, I can't borrow it.  Don't know how I'd ever save that much before I would die from this weight.  What do I do?  If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.  I am not eligible for Medicaid or Medicare, although I will be eligible for Medicare either next January (2011) or June (2011)...not quite sure which.  Do I just wait for Medicare?  Will Medicare even cover this?  Or, at least PART of this?  Are there doctors who TAKE Medicare for this?

HELP!!

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