Is that a Crime Scene in My Pants?

Apr 17, 2012

Ah come on!  Ever feel like you must have done something wrong, and Karma is rearing it's head to remind you to do right?  Well, I happen to know that I behave better than a lot of folks out there, so I then start asking, "Is Karma going to kick in at some point, to give a LITTLE back???"  It doesn't work that way, so do not worry, I am not REALLY expecting some Karmic windfall, but...

For those of you following my journey, I just got the "okee dokee" to return to my usual activities - ahem, including those sinful ones I really (no, REALLY) miss.  My recuperation from having my panniculectomy (see my Blog November/December if you think you want to get one) has been very easy, until today.  I had almost 18 pounds of flesh removed on Leap Day, February 29, 2012, and put on the injured/reserved list for six weeks.  I just started back swimming last week, so I am now on mile 108 for the year - my goal is 600 miles.  My Sweetie and I went to the Oregon Coast for a much deserved - and needed - romantic getaway, only to be thwarted by Karma.  Did my Karma just run over your Dogma?  I love that joke, hopefully none of you are insulted -- I have a very playful sense of humor.  My period decided this would be the perfect time to start, sigh.  Okay, what about the two seater bathtub?!  Hmmm, tried, and ALMOST worked.  Then, I was getting what I self diagnosed as a seroma (a fluid pocket behind the incision from my panniculectomy).  Sigh.  My Sweetie being a more level headed individual decided making whoopee might not be the best idea, I hate when he is right.  So, I enjoyed the gorgeous Oregon Coast, and kept my cooter in her pants.  Although, I did find a loop hole with respect to "making out..."  "Brenda, we are in a public hot tub!"  My answer: "SO?"  I wasn't doing anything worse than kissing passionately, I am sure folks have seen a LOT worse.  Nothing like a hot tub at 9pm, in the rain, ahhhhhh.

Shopping was F U N.  There is an Outlet Mall in Lincoln City, OR.  I bought new bras at Maidenform - score! Did not expect an additional markdown, so ran back & grabbed two more - four bras for $48 -- no sales tax!  Then, I had to stop by and look at sunglasses, right?  Shameless hussy girl received two new pair, and her Sweetie got a pair for himself.  I didn't mention the brand new size 22 jeans, woot! woot!  I am worried to buy anymore, as the swelling is going down.  Retail therapy only works for me if I am saving a lot of money -- otherwise you will find me at the thrift store, no kidding!  Buying new things - new new, not new that is used - makes me feel a little weird.  Like I am indulging in something I should not be.  But, as long as it is only a few things, I think I can convince myself I am not being naughty.  Besides, I did a ton of walking on this trip, so I sort of earned a few goodies, right?  We did discuss my "intimate apparel", as my Sweetie used to feel short changed, "Why don't you wear sexy things anymore?"  I was 474 pounds - not easy to find sexy things in size HugeX... For the record, you can find things, but you need to look hard.  I was sporting 5X & larger, which makes it really expensive & really frustrating.  My current size 22/24 is a lot easy to accessorize.

Here is where I add the rain to my parade.  Remember I spoke of my self diagnosed seroma?  I got an appointment for this morning, and my "seam" popped.  When you have a seroma, there are three options: It gets absorbed naturally; you get it drained (large gauge needle - sometimes surgically drained); it finds a weak spot where you've had an incision - and just opens a new wound.  Mine was the latter, so I am now on antibiotics & two weeks light duty.  You can do everything you are told, and still have a set back.  What YOU do with your setback is what separates you from the weeklings!  I shrugged off the "crime scene in my pants," did what I could to clean up myself, and draped my purse over the stain.  Laughed that I had resolved the seroma - for the second time (I had one from a hernia repair, took 3 months to heal).  I will take my antibiotics happily, and wait two whole weeks to do "the dirty," or swim.  Yup, I may have a wacky outlook, but I always get serious and follow what the doctor tells me.  On the bright side, I have as my doctor says, "fabulous skin, that doesn't scar!"  Yup, I live well, take my vitamins, and do as I am told.  So, hopefully in two weeks, all will be history, and the puffy belly will be gone!

Funny thing I forgot to mention about losing 18 pounds of fat, you lose your ability to FLOAT!  I never needed a "Noodle" in the pool, and treading water is easy for me -- errr, was easy.  I was swimming laps last week, stopped for a drink of water, and sank!  WHAT?!  I had to grab the side of the pool with one hand, and drink with the other.  I never thought I would get excited over sinking -- I won't need as many weights to SCUBA in February!!!  Swimming has been the one activity to really keep me going on this journey, and if you have a hard time exercising -- consider swimming!  Oh, and since I will be on light duty this week, I have NO excuse NOT to get my FREE Swimwear Album up to date!  Yup, you read correctly, I have LOTS of my swimsuits (size 26 & up) and many suits donated or I picked up in my thrift store trips for FREE - disclaimer, I ask if you can pay postage - it really helps, but I will not turn anyone down if they cannot pay the postage.  Help a fellow OH member out - offer your suit for someone making their way through this journey.  Before you say, "I am too fat to use a pubic pool," go see my before photo - on the beach, on Maui, at 474 pounds.  

Positivity will make your journey not only easier, but more enjoyable, besides - when you smile, it makes people wonder why!  Trust me, I have things that bug me, irritate me, but I still remind myself even the worst day alive is better than the best day dead!  I have had bosses who would try to piss me off, because I was upbeat, positive, and frankly - they weren't.  I actually don't let the "turkeys" get me down (have you seen that poster?).  Life really is what YOU make of it.  Sure, I have road bumps, detours, but I also do not mind taking the scenic route.  If you want a long life, happiness does make it easier to attain.  I just laughed when I popped open today.  I could have gotten upset, but what good would that do?  I told the nurse, "At least I don't have to worry how you guys were going to get the fluid out, will you guys charge me less for this visit?!"  My scale is stuck at the moment at 288 pounds, but you know what, I didn't gain 186 pounds in less than a year & a half, so I am way ahead of the gaining curve!  I have lost more weight than my welder daughter (she may have a job!!!  First interview!!!), and she is proud of me.  I still have a long way to go, but I am a whole lot closer!

Stay positive!
Brenda : )~

Did you know Epsom Salts - Magnesium Sulfate will cure constipation? Mix with a little artificial sweetner, and drink -- you'll reverse the tide, for sure!  Just another tip from your Happy Go Lucky Loser...

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