Snowy Thursday!

Feb 11, 2010

This is my first post, and I am not exactly sure what to talk about.  I am a little over 3 weeks pre-op and I feel that my life has been consumed with thinking about surgery for the past month and a half, and I don't mean this is a bad way, Just all I can do is research, and continue to learn what I am in for.  I guess this is just my nature though, I am a research biologist and this is what I do with everything pretty much, computers, cell phones, and now it has turned into vitamins and protein powders and shakes.  All to be expected I assume.  
I am extremely excited though!  I am ready for this, I have been thinking about having wls since I was in high school, then in college I worked with a woman that was a little bit older than me (probably about the age I am now) that had open RNY, although she was much larger than me, I saw the amazing transformation that she went through as I worked with her for a year after she had the surgery.  I kept telling myself that I could do it on my own, but never really could.  On a diet and exercise plan I would always loose about 50lbs and then plateau, and could never seem to get past it.  My past few years have been crazy and I have gained about 25lbs in 3 years or so.  
I got married a 1 1/2 years ago now and last April we decided that we would start trying to have a baby.  I came off of birth control for 3 months, GYN approved. My Gyn told me if I didn't get my period in 3 months to come back, and I didn't get it, so back I went.  That was the day surgery really became a reality for me.  My Gyn told me that I should have wls, for 2 reasons, 1. that I have PCOS and loosing the weight may make me fertile again and 2. If I were to get pregnant at this weight, it could be dangerous for me and the baby.  Although I agreed completely with her, this was a huge blow to me, I was an emotional wreck that day, I called my husband crying my eyes out from the parking lot of the Gyn office.  I think this was the first time in my life that my weight was really effecting something I wanted in my life, and as surprising as this may seem, my weight has never stopped me from anything.  I have big all of my life, this is me, and I am honestly very comfortable being big, never had an issue with it, and as I said before it never stopped me from anything.
I am older now, and being someone in the biology field (and simply an educated and informed person) I know that my weight will start to effect my health and that is something that I am really happy that I am being proactive and having RNY.

I have begun to think about the things that I want to do after I loose the weight that I don't do now simply because I physically cannot.
1. I want to become a runner, I want to enjoy running, I have so many friends that run, and they tell me it is such a release.  Right now I am a walker, but I will be happy when i can start to run.
2. I want to start being more "outdoorsy" hiking, biking, seeing the world from my feet (not from a car window)
3.  I am looking forward to shopping for really cute clothes.  I am a shopper now, I LOVE clothes, and I think I will love it even more now that I can wear a bigger variety of clothes.

So I think that is it for now, it was kind of a long ramble, but it is my first post.  And these are all the things that have been running through my mind for the past few weeks.

 

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