Getting Divorced

Apr 16, 2011

I never thought I would be one of the folks who got WLS and then divorced, but I'm joining the ranks of those who have gone before me.  I had every intention of holding on to my marriage.  I made every effort to do so.  Then, I discovered something really important.

My husband is a very bad person.

It shocked me to figure it out.  I've spent years trying to figure out why our marriage didn't work.  We went to counseling, weekend retreats, seminars, etc.  You name it.  We tried it.  Really, though, I tried, he came along for the ride.

Without food to turn to, I've had to face some tough emotional rides.  I've healed a lot of junk over the past ten months.  It's been exhillerating, tough, but worth it.  Then, I realized that all our marital problems had an unexpected basis.  The man I loved doesn't exist.  He never did.  The guy I married is scary.  He's never hit me, but he has played head games with me our entire marriage.  In fact, he gets his jollies from making me feel crazy.

In the last month, as I made the decision to get the divorce, found a lawyer, etc., I paid attention like never before.  Instead of looking through the eyes of love at a man I believed was forgetful, inept, damaged from childhood, I saw a man who really was a liar and mean.  I realized he was rifling through my things.  All these years I thought I was losing things because I was irresponsible.  I didn't realize he was losing them for me.  I caught him lying to me about an appointment we almost missed, then blaming me for not telling him the right time, when I knew that I had.  It as shocking to realize that it gives him pleasure to mess with my head like that.

So, I'm getting a divorce.  I didn't plan on it.  I didn't want it.  But, now that he is out of the house, I am so much more relaxed.  There's peace here.  We all know that we overeat for a reason.  Guess I found my biggest one.  It's interesting, too.  I feel more full now with less food.  I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I find it interesting that it happened at the same time. he left.

I wish you all the best.  I had to take a bit of a break to take care of business.  I plan to be more present on the site now that my business as usual is pleasant and calm.

Blessings

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