Gotta (re)Start Somewhere

Feb 21, 2017

So today was my first day really holding myself to the higher standard I hope will get me back down to 170 and then (fingers crossed) to 160. It was kind of arduous but also not; the only really harrowing thing was that by tracking my food, water and exercise I was forced to think about how recklessly I've been eating and drinking over the past however many months. Definitely behavior not becoming of a bariatric patient. Even aside from stark reminders of past shame I'm not loving tracking. It pings a weird crazy-center in my brain and can be kind of a bad scene, so I'm planning to give myself weekends off from tracking. (Not from eating right and exercising, just from cozying up with my old nemesis, MyFitnessPal.) Maybe at some point I'll write a longer screed about why tracking food and exercise can make me a little nuts. But for today it was okay, and I think if I limit tracking to weekdays that should help keep the madness at bay. We'll see!

I even hopped back on the treadmill for the first time in forever, and whoa my god was the ever humbling. Let's hear it for a 24-minute mile, yeah! Yikes. And it didn't feel like taking it easy, not at all. I was short of breath throughout. But like I keep telling myself, it's not going to get easier if I ignore it. I know from past experience it won't be long till I get back into the groove with a more respectable treadmill habit. And once I've pushed through this embarrassing early period and rebuild even a tiny bit of endurance, I want to take that dance class I'm always talking about. So that's a goal. When I'm cranky and full of hate, I will remind myself that enduring these treadmill workouts are the best way to get to a point where I can keep up in a ballroom class or whatever. 

Yep. We'll see how this goes. Gotta put the brakes on. It'll be worth it. Blah blah. 

(Hey, unrelated, but where did my tags go? I used to be able to tag my OH blog entries, and I don't see that capability anymore. I'm bummed!)

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