Question:
Can someone explain the complaints we see here about
In the months that I have been coming here, one thing that has always baffled me are the daily complaint posts about weight losses not being what a person expected. Today I read one person who lost 40 lbs in 7 weeks and another who lost 72 pounds in 4 1/2 months. These are wonderful successes. I'm pre-op so maybe I don't understand, but I really dont get how people could have losses like this and be disappointed. When have any of us EVER had such success in such a short amount of time on a diet?? I know I never have. Can I get some insights here? I have my surgery in 2 months, I don't want to fall into the trap of comparisons and complaints. Thanks! — Donna L. (posted on October 9, 2001)
October 8, 2001
It does seem to be human nature and especially of current generationsto
want everything quick and now. I guess we forget how long it took for us to
gain it at times. But, I guess when we are eating such a little amount,
drinking the water, doing the protein and exercising that we get used to
losing quite steadily. When we hit plateaus or days or weeks when we don't
lose, we get frustrated and worried. even when we know and read our bodies
have to catch up to the weight loss, etc. We also do tend to compare our
loss to others...like I've lost less or more than others who had their
surgery the same week. I've even been amazed at how many inches some people
have lost compared to me when I have lost more pounds. We are all so
different and all very lucky to have had the surgery I feel. Me? 3 1/2
months post-op open-RNY and I've lost 67 pounds, 37 inches, gone from a BMI
of 46 to 35...I'm quite pleased. I feel so much better the past few weeks
too..much more normal. Best Wishes!
— Molly S.
October 8, 2001
I agree completely with Donna, and would like to add some other factors
that influence rate of weight loss. The first is gender...male patients
generally have a higher metabolic rate and different ratio of fat/muscle,
so they will lose more rapidly than females. Age is an important
factor...younger patients will lose at a more rapid rate than more
"senior" patients due to a higher metabolism. Hormones will
influence weight loss in female patients...those folks who are menopausal
are likely to drop pounds at a slower rate. Previous dieting
history....those of us who have jerked our metabolisms around, yo-yoing up
and down over the years, are more likely to lose slowly. It's as if our
body gives a big, bored yawn and says, "Oh no, you're not going to put
me through THIS again!" Then, of course, there are the really
important factors of exercise, adhering to the dietary regimen outlined by
your surgeon, and drinking plenty of water. Some post-ops faithfully weigh
every day, and I did that too, at first....in fact, I caught myself
weighing 3-4 times a day. I hit my first plateau at 3 weeks and was
devastated. It just didn't matter at all that I had read on this site and
others that it "happens to everyone and is completely normal".
It didn't matter at all that I was a nurse and understood the physiology
regarding plateau periods. All I knew was that it was happening to ME, and
surely meant that I was the one person in WLS history that this surgery
wouldn't work for....a failure again. In addition, my daughter had had her
RNY 2 months earlier, and was losing weight much more rapidly than
I....wonderful for her, but a major disappointment for me who wanted so
desperately to do the same. The "answer" for me was to put my
scales in the closet and to weigh once a month on my new
"birth"day anniversary. That saved my sanity and made me a much
nicer person to live with, I'm sure...and that way, I was able to receive a
nice "surprise" every month and stop stressing about the
inevitable plateaus. Remember too, that even when the pounds don't
"move", the inches DO....so be sure to take your measurements
pre-op and compare them each month....that's also a wonderful surprise!
Best wishes!
— Diana T.
October 8, 2001
For some people in a life long battle with weight 30 or 40 pounds isn't
that big a deal on one level as they have done that on their own without
WLS. I think their are a couple reasons one being a lot of Dr.'s offices
oversell the actual result and conditions that will exist after, their WLS
surgery. My personal results bear no refection to the 'You be full on a one
once nyquil cup full of water after surgery" maybe some folks are but,
many are not, and the success they have is nowhere near as rapid as they
were told or may have read here by assuming some of the exception results
are the average results and that leads to a false sense of disappointment.
In my case prior to surgery (which I had to make sure I can maintain my
weight loss as I had already lost over a hundred pounds, more than once,
sadly) So prior the surgery and the diet I was on was more restrictive
than the post op diet most people are on so from my perspective I had the
feeling that the diet was having a far greater effect than the surgery
itself and if you could stick to that diet you would loose weight at about
the same rate (good luck keeping it off thought) So I would submit the more
weight you lost on your own prior to WLS the more likely you will feel
things are disappointing until you pass a certain personal apex of weight
loss. If you have lost a lot of weight quickly your are more prone to
wonder what you got out of the surgery beyond pain. I'm sure that changes
for most people once the weight is off and it easier to maintain the weight
loss.
The main reason, I think is, Losing weight simply takes time and most
people with a lifetime of weight problems just want to get it over with so
they can start their new healthier life and put weight loss obsession
behind them.
Just my opinion I could be wrong 8)
— [Anonymous]
October 8, 2001
In the back of our mind we are all scared silly of failing at having
surgery. After all we are diet failures. This drives are unhappiness with
plateaus. And certinally as another poster said this is a NOW generation,
everything must be today, no lines and no waiting. I am down around 75
pounds in 2.5 months and worry too. Its just human nature.
— bob-haller
October 8, 2001
The biggest problem with this surgery is that we don't come out of
anesthesia THIN. It feels so slow, after having gone through the wringer
fighting insurance and playing the waiting game, I think some people feel
like they need to hurry-up and BE thin already.
— M. A. B.
October 9, 2001
I think part of the problem is that the majority of the folks who
post here are either smashing success stories or budding fiction
writers. If you just read the stories here, then anyone would
believe that wls always results in a person reaching their goal
weight and always ending up with a beautiful body. That just ain't the
case!! Also, many surgeons give prospective patients really very rosy
pictures of what they can expect to lose. I'm three years post-op and
quite active in my support group and I can honestly say that the results
of the real live people I see every week are different....more realistic
than
the stories here. People lose weight slower. Some do everything right
and
never get near their goal weight but are happpy with the 80 or 100lbs. that
they
do lose. Most people in the high 300's and beyond do not get skinny are
even
average size. They lose huge amounts of weight and look terrific and
regain the
health and mobility; but usually remain plu size. You never hear that
here. You
only read about the 450lb. women who get down to size 6's in a year.
There'w no
balance. That's why so many people are unsatisfied with their own weight
loss.
They think they should be losing more weight...faster. And they are
disappointed if
they don't end up with perfect bodies. That's why it is so important for
people
condsidering wls and for those who have had it to join a support group.
This board is
great; but, nothing replaces *seeing* and talking with real, live human
beings who are
going through this experience.
— [Anonymous]
October 9, 2001
I agree that there is not much balance here. It seems that only
those who lose tremendous amounts of weight, very quickly tell
their stories. We don't hear much from slow losers and those who
don't lose as much as expected. Also, there is a misconception that
we can all lose as much weight as we want after wls and that those who
aren't as successful as some are doing something WRONG. When someone
writes for advice about loisng more weight everyone says "eat
less",
"exersize", "eat more protein", "dringk more
water". All good advice.
But the fact is that someone can do all of those things and still not
lose any weight. Each body reacts differntly to this surgery and no one
can predict the final outcome. Do the best you can do and don't compare
yourself to anyone else.
— [Anonymous]
October 9, 2001
Hi Donna, your question struck home for me, as I am one of those whiners
lol. Not on here, but to my family at home. I am 9 weeks post op and have
lost almost 100 lbs and it isn't good enough. To be honest I don't even
know why. You would think I would be estactic! I do have about 90lbs more
to go, but feel and look much better then I have in years. Now I can post
that here, but for some reason, I, in my mind, after being fat for many
many years, don't really believe it. I know that I would sabatoge any
previous diet attempts with "I'm not losing weight fast enough"
so I would cheat. Yes I have issues that I'm dealing with. But many
people on here base their weight loss on what others have done, and really
you can't do that. Were all different. I think many WLS newbies think that
having WLS means you wake up the next day thin or much thinner, and it just
isn't so. Boy do I wish. Also, after being heavy for a long time, people
become impatient. You want so much to be thin that it can never be quick
enough. One thing that I suggest that I didn't do, and wish I had, is talk
to a counselor about WLS Pre op. It is a MAJOR decision that will affect
you forever, and sometimes you can't be emotionally prepared enough. Well
I've ranted enough here.
— [Anonymous]
October 9, 2001
aahhhhhh....you've lost 100lbs. in 9 weeks???????? That must
set some kind of record.
— [Anonymous]
October 9, 2001
I think all of us go through a few episodes of "but he/she is losing
so much more!" For me it was and is always a matter of stopping and
asking myself "am I satisfied." The answer has usually been yes.
The first three months I was quite dissatisfied, but it was because I had
lost the amount that I could typically lose on a diet, and I was hurting
way more than a diet! Once I got past that 60 lb. mark, I never looked
back. I have not hit my goal weight, probably never will, because I am not
willing to "diet" ever again, and I have a dreadful sweet tooth.
But, I have lost 84% of my excess, and while I am not skinny by a long
shot, I am blissfully normal. Unrealistic expectations set some people up
for disappointment and constant comparison; I just wanted to look normal,
didn't want wolf whistles, just didn't want people staring and nudging. In
that regard, I am a smashing success. Set your expectations realistically,
including being gentle with yourself when you start to compare your weight
loss to others. BTW, I am 15 months post-op, and my weight stablized at
100 lbs. lost about 4 months ago. -Kate-
— kateseidel
October 9, 2001
Hi Donna!-- I am 6 weeks post-op this Wednesday--LAP RNY--
down 26.5 pounds so far. No I am not the faster loser by far but I can
tell you that I am absolutely thrilled with what IS gone--I had a fear for
a moment or two that I would be the one that this surgery would not work
for--I WAS SO WRONG!!--I went back to the library here and started reading
old questions on this very subject-(lots of good stuff!!) and I realized
that everyone I read about has eventually lost the weight!!! I am
following drs dietary suggestions and exercising and getting in all my
water and protein too. My body will lose the weight when it is ready to and
not a moment before. It took me awhile to get to the MO stage in my life
and it will take some time to get back to a normal weight again--but I can
deal with it because I know it will happen--So Donna, to make a long story
endless...Don't compare yourself to others--do what your dr suggests and
you will be just fine!! Best of luck on your WLS!! Peace and Love--
— karen D.
October 11, 2001
I think like 12 step programs you take what you need and leave the rest. It
is good advise.
— [Anonymous]
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