Question:
Revealing WLS to a Significant Other as a Long-Term Post-Op
I am 21 months post-op, down 172 lbs, from 355 to 183, from size 32/34 to 12/14. Life is grand! I have begun dating the most wonderful man over the last couple of months. Now that I am such a long-term post-op, wls is no longer the focus of my life, and I try to live as a normal person. He was not in my life at the time I had surgery. He has never asked about the scars. I have always been a "roof-topper" about my surgery, but have been totally hesitant to tell him. All my friends, family, coworkers know about my surger. My close friend whom I work with (and whose date is 02/27/2002!) had been encouraging me to tell him before someone else mentioned it. I really didn't want to! I'm not sure why - fear of freaking him out, rejection, or whatever. We were on a date about a week ago, I finished my meal, and he said, "Man, you eat like a bird!" My heart started pounding, and I knew I needed to tell him. So, I blurted it out, asked him how he felt about it, and he said it made no difference to him at all. He laughed and said we could start splitting a meal or for me to order from the kid's menu! I have the restaurant card, just never used it. I usually box up leftovers, but we were out of town at a concert, and shrimp fettucine wouldn't have fared well in the car for 3 hours! I'm glad I got it off my chest and that it made no difference to him. Anyone else have this experience? — [Deactivated Member] (posted on January 28, 2002)
January 28, 2002
No, but I can't wait to! I think that as this surgery comes more and more
in the public eye there will be less "stigma" attatched to
it...if your so reacted with good humor when you initially told him as
opposed to shutting down, you should be okay. Besides, maybe he has a few
secrets of his own...
— rebeccamayhew
January 28, 2002
No, I haven't had this experience yet, but it sounds like you may have a
keeper there. Good luck!
— garw
January 28, 2002
Denise- it is great to hear how you are doing! I can't relate
to a significant other, but I am telling more and more people
how I lost weight. I think the longer I go postop (2 years
now), the more sure I am that it has worked and the freer
I feel to share with people. Good Luck- drop me a line if you
find the time-I am doing a abdominoplasty in March! Love,
— M B.
January 28, 2002
If someone really loves you, your WLS should mean nothing to him/her. And
if it gets serious, it's very important that they know so they can help you
if you have a related medical crisis ... or if you're unconscious and they
need to intubate you, etc.
— Terissa R.
January 28, 2002
I envy you (lol). I'm almost 4 years post-op and wls is still very
much a part of my life. I think about it all the time. Perhaps that's
because I'm still trying to get down to 199...I have 35lbs. to go.
Perhaps
when I get there, I'll "move on". I did tell my boyfriend about
my wls
early in our relationship. I told for several reasons. First, I know
that
he wondered why a size 18 woman ate sooooo little food. I didn't want him
to think
that I was one of those silly ninnys who won't eat in front of their man.
Second,
I've lost 150lbs. and my thighs and butt are a bit jiggly, I wanted to
explain why.
Third, I wanted to prepare him for "the scar". It's not exactly
pretty...and I had no
intention of wearing tee shirts etc. during intimate times. He said he was
impressed and
proud of me for taking control of my life and becoming such a
"babe".
— [Anonymous]
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