Question:
Did anyone lose libido after surgery?
I am four months post and have lost 75 pounds. I have no desire for sex with my husband. He is a great man and has been totally supportive. Pre surgery, we had sex atleast once a week. Now, he is looking for it about 3 times a week and I am in NO MOOD. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm hoping that it will pass. Thanks — [Anonymous] (posted on January 11, 2001)
February 11, 2001
I am experencing the same thing. I am 5 1/2 months post-op but have benn
going through this virtually since the surgery. I have found that not only
do I not have nay desire for my spouse but I don't even have any mental
desire (fantasies) about ANYONE or feelings of EVER wanting to have sex
AGAIN. I am getting quite concerned as I know it is driving a wedge between
my husband and I but don't feel I want to 'compromise' MY feelings to
'soothe' him. I am going back into therapy and also have an appointment
with my GYN early next month and am hoping these two things may help the
situation. I have lost about 65#s since surgery and don't "feel"
any more desirable so don't know if this is mental or physical.
— [Anonymous]
February 12, 2001
This sounds exactly like a post I made about one month ago!I know exactly
how you feel! Right around the four month mark, I also lost my libido and
hubby's was ripe. In addition to the surgery and losing 70 pounds, I began
taking birth control. I honestly believe my hormones were going haywire.
So, I went to my GYN.. He had no good answers for me. I decided to go off
the Loestrin and my libido has returned! I recommend a blood work up.
Please email me if you want to talk about this further! HUGS
— Jeannet
February 12, 2001
Yes, yes & yes. So glad you asked. Actually the mental desire to be
with a man is still there but prior to surgery I had no problems acheiving
orgasm rather quickly but post surgery it takes me forever or not at all.
I am 8 mos post-op & had a panniculectomy. Personally, I think some
important nerves were messed with down there but my GYN doesn't agree. She
just thinks I need to allow my body time to heal, that it's still under a
lot of stress. My surgeon's PA just told me that I am worrying too
much...Easy for her to say....I doubt this helped you but I really needed
to vent on this subject....good luck to you.
— [Anonymous]
February 13, 2001
Ah, we women are such a hormonal group:) Lack of sex drive can
come from so many things. One thing to remember is that our bodies
are changing so rapidly that our self-concepts need to catch
up. Alos, estrogen is stored in fat- lose fat rapidly, estrogen
gets lost- you get hormonal and your body is so confused!
Give yourself some time and when your body starts breathing again after
working so hard at losing weight, it will get better. I know-
I went through the same thing and now am past it- I am down 130
pounds, 23 from goal, and enjoy my hubby more now than I ever did
before. Hang in there- this too shall pass:)
— M B.
April 5, 2001
For me, it was just the opposite. I used to never want sex, but after a
couple of months post-op, my drives came back, and then some.
— [Anonymous]
July 17, 2001
I just read the answer posted on 2/11 and my thoughts as a husband are
"You had BETTER consider his needs!" She didn't want to
"compromise her feelings just to 'soothe' him". How selfish!
Marriage is about GIVE and take. Please understand, I in no way feel that
anyone should be truely unfair to themselves or be a martyr, putting their
spouses needs completely above their own, but barring that, if you're not
being put in any pain or seriously inconvieanced, you'd better consider
what your spouse needs, and I don't just mean sex. Does he want to go drive
an hour to get your pain medication? NO! But he'll do it because what you
need is more important that what he wants! Thats what it's about. If all
you're thinking about is what's in it for you, you've got a lot more
problems that weight loss!
This, by the way, is much more a rant for the person who posted than the
one asking the question. Best of luck with finding your answers.
— [Anonymous]
April 17, 2002
I am experiancing the same thing. I am about 4 months post-op. I have no
desire to be intimate with my hubby, but he seems to want it like crazy
now!! I know that most women would feel flattered that their hubby wants
them so much. And I do. I just don't want it for some reason. I think that
in the past, being with my hubby was a good way for me to feel wanted and
special. This is still true, but the thinner me is getting so much more out
of life that I do not rely on sex for those feelings anymore. I am hoping
this will pass. I definately still want him. I do feel alot of it IS
hormones. Thanks for posting your question. I thought I was the only one
with this problem. Good luck.
— linda B.
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