Question:
What's it like on the other side?

everyone, Please share what it's like be on the losing side! I am doing this for my health naturally though the added bonus is losing weight...well I have NEVER been small or thin...I have no idea what it's going to be like...How will I know what to wear, right now it's whatever fits...certainly not what is stylish or in fashion. How do you cope, how does it feel not to be the biggest or heaviest?    — Princess D. (posted on January 26, 2003)

January 26, 2003
Good Questions!. OK, I am only 1 month post-op...so I am still kinda the biggest and the heaviest BUT. I can feel down my stomach or my legs and can FEEL the weight loss. I don't SEE it that much, but I can FEEL it. I have clothes that didn't fit me before the surgery, that fit me nicely now. I havent ever been small or thin either...but every time a shirt fits me better, or pants fit looser or better (just yesterday I tried on a size 32 pants and they FIT!! They DIDN'T fit on Wedsnesday...it was WONDERFUL)...I feel SUCCESSFUL. Can I suggest to you, try on some of your clothes that are tight on you or don't fit, remember how they feel now. Take your hands and feel down your sides and your legs and your calves, and get used to every bump and fatty feeling area. That way, after you have the surgery, even when you can't SEE the weight loss...you will FEEL it. I have never felt better.
   — thekatinthehat

January 26, 2003
It is wonderful to be lighter..
   — barbara A.

January 26, 2003
Hey, that's a great question!! I wish I had an answer for you! I am 9.5 months postop, down 137 pounds. I still find my self gravitating to the plus sizes, when I know full well none of that stuff fits. I don't even know what to wear!! I still look at the frumpy, grandma-ish stuff ----anyone who's a grandma, please don't take offense, LOL! It definetly takes time to figure it all out I think. It might help to take a friend shopping. PS~~~I am no where near thin or small yet, I just now can shop in the misses section, but I understand what you are feeling!!
   — bevewy

January 26, 2003
It is the best thing I ever did for myself. I am 31 and have been heavy for 27 years. I am down 80lbs and 12 dress sizes since open RNY in late August. Lately I stop when passing by a mirror and am just in awe. I feel healthier than I ever have before, I feel beautiful and even sexy. I still have 40 more pounds to go but I know it is right around the corner! Good luck - you won't regret it!
   — Shannon H.

January 26, 2003
Good question! I remember wondering the same thing 17 months ago when I weighed 257 pounds more than I do right now and I gotta say it's even better than I could have possibly imagined. Everything from not being stared at by children to fitting in every seat to having more energy than I ever thought was possible. So much in fact that when we had a fitness challenge at work, I came in first for being in the best shape. I stunned a lot of people including myself. I have to admit I still can't handle it when people talk about how cute and little I am because I just don't see myself that way, but it sure beats being big and fat. It does take awhile to get used to the new you, but the clothes shopping is the best. Buying regular sizes and figuring out what looks good and what doesn't. Finding out you actually have some sense of style and using it. Having friends and relatives give you clothes that they can't fit into but you can is great . Even with the surgery, losing weight isn't easy, but it is, without doubt, the best thing you can do for yourself .
   — Traci H.

January 26, 2003
Absolutely the greatest! My sister just sent me a fleece sweater from Talbots. When I opened the box and saw Talbots, my first reaction was, "I can't fit into anything from there", then *woke up* and just giggled in excitement. It takes some getting used to being 'normal'. I've never weight this little at 147... from 245, and it is the BEST!! I still have some confusion when going into regular stores, because style was hard to come by in the plus sizes. Now there is SO much to choose from, and more trendy clothing. Sometimes when I walk into a room I still think to myself, I am the fattest person in here, and scope the room to see who is judging me. It takes a lot of adjusting. My brain still thinks I'm fat until I consciously tell myself that I am now normal. Its a wild ride! Wouldn't trade it for anything!
   — Cheri M.

January 26, 2003
It's funny what Cheri said, how she still scopes the room to see if she is the heaviest one there. I find myself doing that all the time still, even though I am average now. How great that word sounds, to be an average size! :) I was 250 and 5'2" and am now 150lbs. I wear a size 8 and usually M/L shirts (still have a big chest). I was only obese for 5 years, so i luckily still have many clothes from highschool, etc. But the compliments are great. Whoever told a person losing weight won't change everything about your self-esteem was wrong in my case. That was the only thing missing from my life, and I now feel so much better about myself. I did have a complication- had a hole in my stomach/marginal ulcer but I am recovering (and it may not be from the surgery- so not to scare you) My point is, all the pain and agony was worth it. I wouldn't take back the way I feel, confidence wise and health wise for anything. Goodluck to you!
   — Lezlie Y.

January 26, 2003
Wonderful, I'm loving it. Just yesterday it was so cold outside and I didn't have a warm coat to put on, I saw my 16 old daughter old down jacket and said to myself , I wonder, anyway I tried it on and it fit, it fit, it fit(did I say it fit) it is a size small(men size)you know kids they like to wear big clothes but I was never able to fit in a men small so it was a big deal for me. Also I find when I get on the subway women are always staring at me. I know I am attractive but sometime it gets on my nerve because I know it jealousy but hey, now it's my turn. Do you think my surgeon created a monster hehe. Soon you'll be enjoying all this too. Take care.
   — Rebe W.

January 26, 2003
Wonderful, I'm loving it. Just yesterday it was so cold outside and I didn't have a warm coat to put on, I saw my 16 old daughter old down jacket and said to myself , I wonder, anyway I tried it on and it fit, it fit, it fit(did I say it fit) it is a size small(men size)you know kids they like to wear big clothes but I was never able to fit in a men small so it was a big deal for me. Also I find when I get on the subway women are always staring at me. I know I am attractive but sometime it gets on my nerve because I know it jealousy but hey, now it's my turn. Do you think my surgeon created a monster hehe. Soon you'll be enjoying all this too. Take care.
   — Rebe W.

January 27, 2003
I am 34 and I admit I shamelessly wear stylish clothes. I never got to before. I spend the money to get my hair professionally cut. I can do things I always wanted to do but never could: running, fencing classes (yes, they let me have a sword! *hee hee*), skiing, horseback riding. I can go and go and go and not get tired. I can eat in public and not wonder if everyone is watching to see what I order and if I'll eat it all. I can go to my daughter's school and not be afraid the kids will tease her about her fat mommy. I can eat without guilt over my fatness and without seeing food as the enemy. Do you see the pattern here? I can, I can, I CAN! Fat kept me from doing a lot of things by building both physical and mental barriers. Losing the weight will break down the physical barriers, but YOU have to break down the mental barriers. Just believe it and you can do it!
   — ctyst

January 27, 2003
I love being on the losing side. I'm 46 yrs young! Been overweight since high school, and I, too, was afraid that I wouldn't know how to dress. Thankfully, I have a small supportive group of women friends (younger)who helped me out. I still have a hard time with self image, but it's the little things that wake me up and realize that I'm not the same person who weighed 236 pounds at 5'4". The other day, I bought my 7 yr old son a small video game chair made of molded plastic. As he was sitting in it, I thought how small that chair looked, but couldn't resist trying to sit in it myself. Guess what? I had no problem getting my butt into it and out! Yesterday, I bought a pair of boot cut, low rise jeans in a size 10! I have never worn that size ever! Oh okay, maybe once when I blinked and slid into the plus sizes. Everyday is a little adventure, from men smiling at you, to fitting through a turnstile, to getting off the floor with ease, etc. It's a WONDERFUL FEELING!
   — Jean B.

January 27, 2003
I would highly recommend asking a friend whose style you admire & one whom you trust & then take her shopping with you, at least until you get a better idea of what to look for. I am now 6 months post op and down #100+ pounds & am currently re-vamping my image. I had my hair cut & colored-looks very different-"trendy" is how the salon gals put it. I brought my trusted friend shopping for new eye glasses-also trendy now! I had a make over from a friend who sells Mary Kay. She helped my pick out new make up colors & try a new way of applying it. I also had my colors "done". You know, where they look at your skin tone, hair colory, etc...& then suggest a palate of colors that suit you best.I figured if I am going to spend the money on a new wardrobe, and I no longer have to purchase things just because they fit, I want to have them in colors & styles that suit me well. It has been an absolute blast working through all of these cosmetic changes! Who would have thunk it-me being trendy!? Best wishes with your process!!
   — Heather N.

January 27, 2003
I'm four months out and still bigger than what some people here STARTED at...but still, it feels great! I find myself smiling a lot more, and it seems people talk to me more, and vice versa. I think before I wanted to fade into the woodwork and hope that no one would notice me because I was so embarrassed about the shape I was in. Now, already, I feel like a "normal" person again and I'm coming out of my shell. When I get on the bus I feel free to share a seat with someone, whereas before I would remain standing rather than impose my bulk on someone. I walk faster and feel stronger now that I'm not carrying that extra 80 pounds. I definitely have more spring in my step! I find myself more interested in clothes and how I look. Before, it wasn't an option so much, since it was a matter of finding something in the extended plus sizes that FIT. I always used to look at the size tag first, before I even really looked to see whether I liked something. I also have NEVER been small or thin - and I'm still not - but weighing less than I've weighed in over 10 years has had an enormous difference in my mood and in my confidence.
   — sandsonik

January 27, 2003
Hey Diva. I'm only 3 months out, but every day is like a miracle already. I've never felt ugly or anything like that, despite the fact that I've ALWAYS been heavy...but now....well, sometimes my confidence scares me. I KNOW it scares those around me...:) Shopping is a dream. Walking is a dream. Going to the movies and fitting into the seats is a dream. And I've still got 65 to go! Here are my suggestions re shopping....read magazines. Don't be afraid of high fashion magazines; they'll help you get a sense of what silhouettes are in style. Go to an upscale department store -- one with personal shoppers -- and tell them your dilemma. They will be thrilled to help you, and you don't have to buy anything from them. Believe me, they see so many women who don't get excited about shopping -- to have a woman who is simply thrilled to be buying from the misses side of the store will be a kick for them. Have them help you figure out what looks best on you. Your style will emerge, I promise. Good luck!
   — Tamara K.

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