Hi there,

I had the biggest disappointment today. Last week I heard from several people that one of my co-workers had WLS. We don't work in the same area but we are friendly and visit when we run into each other. What a great support system we could be for each other, how great it would that be. Well this is how it went. I called and we exchanged the usual small talk, then asked if I could ask a personal question. She said to go ahead, so I asked if she had WLS as I am in the process of having it done myself ....RNY. Well she told me that yes it was a personal question and that she didn't want to talk about her personal weight loss journey. I was so disappointed.

I love how everyone here shares their fears, goals and their journeys. After dinner each night I get on line and read the days entries. I've learned so much and am so excited about the journey that I'm about to take because of the support I've found here. I also attended a support group meeting in Delhi. I met great people at different stages of their WL. I was made welcome and can't wait until next months meeting. Everyone at the meeting was so eager to share their experiences and to answer questions. Thanks to Lori, Jenn, Erica, Gail and I'm so sorry but I can't remember everyone's name that was there.

So I hope you can understand my disappointment when I found someone one floor down from me going though WL process AND NOT EAGER TO SHARE. Yes it is her personal journey and I do wish her the best!!

Laurie

 she may have been cought off guard... she may come around but i e=would not mention it to her.. if she wants to share then she will come to you.. 

Its funny I had kind of the same result.. My company was bought out by a larger company and most of us went with the new company some elected to retire. We thought one woman took the buy out then low and behold she came to the new company a year later and 100lbs lighter. I commented to a close friend of mine how fantistic she looked and I suspect her mysterous surgery she was having a yeay ago was WLS but I didnt want to ask... so a few weeks later my friend asked her and she flat out denied it... ok what ever to each their own... I mentioned to her Ithe other co-worker) that I have an orientation w/Dr. Reed this week... she got all happy and said OOOHHHH you will love him... so it confirms my theory but why she would share that with me and not my friend is beyond me. 

Thanks for your reply!  I guess I'm too earger....Thanks again for being out there for me.

I totally get it. Talking to someone in the process is way different than when "chatty cathy" who is curious comes to ask me about my business.

These roads we walk are so much enjoyable when there's someone you can share with - someone who truly knows what we are talking about.  So, yes, it's sad for you that she's put up a wall, but it's also sad for her because she's missing out as well.  But some people are just very private - perhaps in the future she'll reach out to you, and if she does, I know you'll be there.  In the meantime, there are many great people here, I've found, and having a whole lot of people to share with is so much better than one reluctant one!

You're so right, I'm lucky to have the people that I have in my life now! 

Someone asks me publically at work and they'll get a MYOB answer. Especially if i don't know them well or if others are around.  And yes I've outright lied when asked publically. My medical decisions are not for discussion at the elavator bank, in the ladies room or in the middle of "cubeland".  I did say to that person - one day when you have some time I can talk about it in more detail  over lunch or something - but they never took me up on it.

I'd probably not answer that question on the phone or via email from a co-worker. Face to face if they said I'm having weight loss surgery and wondered if that was part of your being able to lose so much weight -maybe but likely not when I'm sitting at my desk in "cubeland" or in a public spot. Everyone gets to hear everything in my officeand my medical decisions are really low on the list of what I'll entertain folks with.

My team knows I had surgery so I figure the entire office knows - I'm not that niave.But I'm happy with them talking about it behind my back and not to my face. I'm not interested in being a role model or in an at work support group. I didn't join the at work weigh****chers for that very reason.

A few weeks ago I popped into one of my business's other offices and overheard another conversation very briefly as 2 people walked by me and I could tell they were talking about WLS. I saw the one person a little later and asked if she'd had WLS and said right away that I was in the process as well. She was very forthcoming and we chatted about 10 minutes. Now I don't work in that office regularly and she probably didn't even know who I was so I've no fear that she is going to spread it around. It is too bad that the average person is so judgemental about WLS and that we can't be more open and honest about it.

I think she was caught off guard and was perhaps a bit hurt that people in the office were spreading her business around.  She may think it over and come back to you on it.

At my work I became good friends with one of the health consultants (nurses) on staff and did tell her about my surgery AND offered to be a resource to anyone else in the organization that she may become aware of who was also going for the surgery.  5000+ employees, one phone call. LOL  Oh well, at least I was able to help one other person.  And, on a "it's a small world" note, I noticed one of the young girls here on the forum worked for the same organization.  I sent her a PM and offered support - turns out she worked in the same building as me!  We got together for morning coffees all the time.

Chances are, your co-worker is here on the board and you just don't know it yet! lol

It was very nice to meet you too...and any time you want to chat or have questions, if I can help, I will be there!

I have kept my WLS journey very private too, other than OH, only a couple of my VERY close friends, and mine and my husband's immediate family know about it.  I have not told anyone at work, but if I had someone approach me that was going through the same thing, I might be more willing to talk about it...but I would get together outside the office and talk privately.

Lori