Been a long time
Laying here awake with the positive pain I decided hey I should go on oh.com and say hello. So here goes. Thanks ever so much to any and all of you for your kind words, support and good thoughts throughout the last eight months. For those who don't know my story here it is in short form. On January 31st 2013 I went through what was to become my first life saving surgery I had a Roux En Y Gastric Bypass performed on me. I woke up with severe nausea and pain and thus the fun began. I say fun both in jest and in Sarcasm. I would like to talk about the positives first because I don't want to spend the rest of my life dwelling on all the negatives. As a result of my first operation I am no longer Diabetic, I no longer have hypertension, I no longer suffer from yeast infections and I no longer catch absolutely everything out there in the air. Thank god for all of the good stuff because that and all of you good people again is how I have gotten through this. I spent two days in hospital not wanting to drink as I constantly vomited over and over again or would experience Dry Heaves.
I was released from the hospital and went home to my friends house to begin my recovery, in that time I was encouraged to drink and try and eat, if I tried to eat or drink I would experience pain so horrible it would bow my body forward as the vomiting was so forceful. I remained at my friends place for four days until I went walking across her floor and passed out cold. I woke up in the ambulance and was taken back to the hospital. I spent four days in hospital during which time a ct was performed and nothing was found, I was given mass amounts of intravenous fluids and rehydrated as well as multivitamins. Shortly after that i was released to be scoped in March.
Upon arriving at home I still was not able to keep much down, my friends and my care team continued to be supportive and encourage me sometimes nicely bullying me to eat and drink as I tend to get frustrated and just give up. Shortly after I arrived home my father very suddenly passed away. I went away for two weeks and during this time Did not even attempt to eat or drink anything as i just did not want to deal with anymore Nausea. This would prove to be yet another bad decision on my part. The day I arrived home I went to a meet and greet with my best friend and other friends and managed to be so dehydrated that I passed out. I was again taken to the hospital. While in the Emergency Department the doctor came to me and asked what was going on. When I told him how i felt and what my symptons were he told me there was nothing wrong with me but that they would go ahead and scope me just to prove that "there was nothing anatomically wrong with me." I was admitted for hydration and nutrients. Two days later they performed a Scope and the first ulcer was discovered. I immediately was placed on very strong antibiotics and ulcer preventing and curing medications . I remained in the hospital for approximately two weeks at this time. When released from Hospital I was given several prescriptions to treat and prevent further ulcers from developing. At this time we were really struggling financially and a friend came to my aid lending me money so i could get my medication. I was extremely frustrated at this point so in order to (show them) I chose to not take my medication as directed and hurt myself further. I spent the next two months eating and vomiting up everything I ate becoming weaker and weaker and losing more and more weight rapidly. I have some extremely concerned friends who were getting extremely frustrated with me and the situation I found myself in at this time. Two friends pushed and pushed and forced me to look at what I was doing and i began to take my medications as directed while still venting and complaining and doing nothing about it. I would go for walks with these friends, always needing to sit swooning with dizziness and nearly passing out on them several times. throughout this they all still remained supportive. One day my one friend decided to give me a reality check which she had attempted to give me several times but i simply was not willing to listen to reason I didn't want to hear it I had given in I was winning and i Didn't care. She said again too me I don't want ot hear that you died in your sleep and that is where you are at. this had been repeated by her and my best friend several times and this time it hit home. My friend told me if you will let me I will come to the hospital with you tomorrow and we will get this dealt with. I argued and argued against it and finally realized how exhausting this was becoming for everyone else not just me.
The next Day we went back to the Hospital, I was given Intravenous fluids and admitted for hydration and nourishments shortly after I got there. They decided too scope me again. Two days later the performed and scope and discovered that the ulcer was again on the fritz growing and now bleeding. As a result of this another surgeon was finally consulted and became a member of my care team. While in hospital they put me on some very strong medications and performed what is called a small bowel follow-through. As a result of this test they discovered that there was a delay when i ate. I had several conversations with the team and was under the impression that I would be having surgery. I was still there two weeks later and becoming rapidly frustrated, I insisted that the doctors release me from the hospital if they weren't going to do anything about it. The next morning the Surgeon came to see me again and said he wanted ot do another scope ot determine if more medication or surgery was the answer to resolve the ulcer. The scope was performed and I was taken back to my room. Shortly after waking up I was talking to one of my favorite nurses and mentioned I had been told I would be having surgery she informed me that there would not be an operation that they were going to continue with the same course of treatment. I became extremely frustrated and called one of my supportive friends. I informed her that I would be leaving the hospital and that I was extremely frustrated and done with it all and didn't care if I lived or died I was just done. I was not willing to listen to anyone I just wanted to go home. As a result of this conversation I have since lost all contact with this friend and still regret how this came about. I would have to point out that I was thinking about me and how I felt and didn't really care what anyone else wanted or thought at all at that point in time. I have since thought on this situation many times and deeply regret making such rash and foolish decisions. I was released from hospital and off home I went thinking hell with you IM done the whole way home Like I had won something. In reality I was just going to be hurting myself some more.
In August I went for a follow up with the surgeon who was very concerned that I could keep nothing down when I was even willing to eat something, I struggled to make myself take my medications because I was just so incredibly frustrated and felt like absolutely no one cared. The surgeon met with me and put me at the top of the list to have another scope done asap as well as another small bowel follow through. The scope was performed a week later and the ulcer was larger and bleeding even more now. I had the small bowel through test completed at the end of August. When I had this test done the radiologist could see all of the effects of what this ulcer was doing to my body, I have developed severe gerd as a result of the constant vomiting, this is well controlled currently. The surgeon looked at the results and decided surgery was the way to go. On September 20th I went ot the surgeons office and signed my consent forms. I felt vindicated, elated, and ticked right off all at the same time, as soon as the word surgery left his lips i began to wonder could we do something else? The surgeon looked at me across the desk and informed me that at this point it was either surgery or I would likely pass away in the next six months or so. Life got extremely fast at that point, I have one absolutely wonderful friend who has listened to me moan and complain for the last eight months finally just tell me how it was that i needed it that i was getting it and I needed ot get over myself. Over many conversations with her we have determined that yes I did need surgery to resolve this issue but that had i taken my medication as directed the issue would never have gotten this bad again a choice I made.
On October 3rd I had my second life saving operation. I remember walking into that room with the attitude of well if u cant fix it turn up the gas because i am not living like this anymore. I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself throughout this process woe is Bonnie life sucks for bonnie poor bonnie and more negative thoughts and behaviors. I laid down on that or table and thought ok this is is it if I make it off this table its time ot do things the right way. The surgery took shortly over four hours, I was told that they removed the anastomosis completely , they ulcer had taken over and affected a portion of the small bowel and this area was also resected, They also scoped my blind stomach and discovered that the ulcer had grown into it and cut that area out as well. My pouch was then resected by two thirds so is now much smaller than the first one. I woke up completely out of it but without nausea of any kind. I felt and still feel so thankful and so elated. I was also given a jp drain to drain any extra fluids and blood. I spent four days in the hospital and did not get sick once, I ate some jello and drank water and a drink my friend brought me from starbucks Iced Passion tea made with lemonade no sugar added so good I recomend it I am so addicted too it. Upon leaving the hospital I went to another friends place for four days and have returned home today.
I have gotten sick only once and that was when I dumped on ice cream. I have been able to consume several 1/4 cups of greek yogurt and soup as well as milk and protein drinks and water.. I have had a lot of pain but it is well worth it. I am so thankful and so grateful to my surgeon he literally has saved my life. Something I am really struggling with right now is Body dysmorphia, where everyone else sees skinny me I only see fat me and ugly me this is something that is going ot take time to deal with. I am happy to report that i have been taking my prerscribed medications as directed and not arguing about it since clearly this is going to help me get better. I find that I am struggling with head hunger, the other night I had some peanuts and then last night I ate some corn chips I wanted some comfort and something crunchy and thus there was my opportunity. This was a bad decision as again I dumped. This also is something I need to work out for myself I am only hurting me not anyone else.
I
want to end this note in saying how thankful I am that someone finally listened and helped me, without the support of my wonderful friends i likely would not even be here. I want to thank all of those who have supported me and listened to me whine about how horrible my experience has been since the first operation and most of all I want to thank everyone for being so supportive and putting up with me I know it sure hasn't been easy. I am learning so much about myself and what I need to do to remain healthy and happy. I want to thank anyone who has helped me, talked to me, thought about me or encouraged me. I am looking forward to a healthy new chapter taking care of me and most of all doing what is right. I was told by a good friend over and over and over that I needed to advocate for myself. I was far to angry to advocate I simply complained over and over an expected everyone else ot fix this for me. I have dealt with some amazing and supportive people in the health care sector through out this. Some in particular will never know just how much help they have given me. If I could give you any advice I would say just be true to you. Take care and free to tell me off if your one of those people who I haven't taken the time to thank.
Bonnie :-)
Bonnie, what a time you have had. I'm sure everyone who has read your story is so happy for you and that your life is getting on track for you now. I wish you continued success and good healthy.
Cathy xo 
Orientation: Feb 2013, Surgeon, Nurse, Dietician: June 2013, Dr. Glazier: April 2013, Surgeon: Dr. John Hagen, June 2013, PATTS: August 2013, Optifast: August 2013, Surgery: HRRH Sept. 5, 2013
.
Referred HRRH Apr. 2012, Info. Session: Sept 12/12, Surgeon Consult: Dr L Smith Sept 19/12, RD/SW/RN/ Nov 19/12. Surgery Date: April 29, 2013
