Comments and Comebacks?

For those people who have told people about their WLS (pre-op or post-op), what kind of comments/reactions did you get back? Does anyone have any great comebacks that they found worked really well. I just want to be prepared for it since I'm not so good at coming up with the clever comebacks on the fly. I don't want to be rude to people or defensive, but I do want to stand up for myself if I need to.

I toy with who to tell and who not to tell pre-op. People aren't going to just randomly ask probably until after the surgery when they might notice the weight loos or maybe if they get wind that I'm taking time off work or through the grapevine. I'm too honest to not tell people when approached. At this point I have only told my family, 2 close friends and 1 coworker...and I found it really hard. I don't plan to tell anyone else unless they ask me...except my sister and parents. I don't know exactly when I will tell them, but they will be upset with me if I have surgery and don't tell them in advance.

Experiences and great comebacks NEEDED!!

Thanks!
Debbie

You don't need a comeback. 

If anyone asks, "I'm on a diet."  What type of diet?  "I stopped eating too much diet."  If they ask what you eat, tell them.  You don't have to mention the surgery.  It is none of their business!

I'm pretty sure I am too open to not mention the surgery when people inquire. But maybe I will surprise myself and not be so open. I think it will depend on the person. There are certain people that you just KNOW are asking so they can "put you in your place."

Thanks!
Debbie

I find that most people are kind...and they simply ask because they genuinly care...or they..thenselves struggle with weight and are always seeking a answer....so if you dont want to tell them about the surgery...dont. you can answer honestly with a high protein low carb diet and exercise. with that said.....

there are those people that do not have good intentions behind their inquiries.....they are just nosy...or they are assuming you had wls and they just GOTTA voice their opinion on the subject....those people? if they ask if you've had surgery...tell them that you have the name of a really good facial reconstruction surgeon...would they like his number?

LOL that's a good one!

Thanks!
Debbie

When I told a close friend her comment was you look fine and we (meaning her and her family), said I did not need surgery. I got angry and came back well maybe I look fine but I am on blood pressure med, sleep apnea, joint and foot issues what more would you like to hear.
I lost my husband last year (Heart attack) and I want to be around here for my kids and grand kids for a long time. I did not do this just because I want to look thin, Its about my health and the start of a new life...

I think that is a great response to that kind of comment... keep the focused on the health benefits to drowned out all of the "you don't need surgery" comments. Most of us don't walk around holding up a list of the various health issues we have developed over the years of obesity. So I think people, especially normal weight people, don't realize the health risks that come with obesity.

For most people their weight is more of an image thing. That is why I don't think my parents will have an issue with me having WLS. They are all about image plus my Dad is a doctor so I hope he knows the long term health risks of obesity are far greater than the risks associated with VSG. I told one of my best friends and she is supportive but she did say that she is surprised that I would qualify as big enough for WLS. But I also had never told her about my sleep apnea...most people don't know about that. She just doesn't see me like that (and hasn't seen me in a while either) which is what I have always appreciated about her as a friend. 

I'm am so sorry for your loss of your husband last year. I'm sure your children are so happy that they will have healthy Mom that they will have around for a very long time!

Why is your sleeve something you feel you need to be defensive about?

I'm proud of you for being open and not wanting to hide that you are doing something amazing for yourself.  IF I were in your place, id stop and reflect on what is is that you feel you need to defend rather than try to prepare a list of canned responses.  Is it the insecurity you have from being overweight?  A history of being teased and wanting to beat them to the puch?  Once you figure out whats driving the desire for a witty comeback, face those issues head on.

Besides, from a more practical standpoint, using some canned responses might make you sound scripted and fall flat.

I agree with RheaBob -

Life is not a sitcom or romantic comedy movie - 'tis better to engage in thoughtful discussion than be a comeback spitter.

By saying "clever comments" I don't mean smartass or witty or comedic (tho there are people I would like box into a corner!). Clever to me means thoughtful, appropriate, intelligent and even educational.

There is a difference between defending yourself and being defensive. Though I'm pretty sure I do have many insecurities, my purpose of my initial post here was to see what comments people have gotten (who have been there and done that) and how they have handled it. I'm looking for perspectives on the topic. Let's face it, the general public doesn't get it and I'm hoping people have found ways to speak to those people.

Do you have any experiences to share on this topic?