Family!!!

I just got the phone with my mom and sister. I made the mistake of telling then, I was planning on having weight loss surgery. I got such a negative response, Im in tears and so angry! I got nothing but, you can do it the natural way! Why do you need to risk your life, to lose weight? You can die from this surgery! Did you do the research? Blah, Blah! Of course I did research! Really??

Well, most everyone has had their deal of nay-sayers about their choice to get weightloss surgery..for their health. Family is the most difficult to deal with. I have a few sayings now.... "I have a team of medical professionals who are monitoring my health and well-being and are in support of this desicion." "I want to be healthy and happy in my body." "Did you know that 98% of people who lose a significant amount of weight gain it back in 5 years." "Actually the surgery has hardly any risk when compared to knee replacement. you are ten times more likely to die from a replacement surgery."  .....and another one " I dont care what you have to say, its my desicion. Please be happy for me, or just leave me alone about it." LOL

God Bless you! You will do great with your surgery and you will be a baming success in their faces and they wont say anything anymore!!! :)
Love, Sky

I'm no expert, but I believe we are afraid of what we don't know.  Your family hasn't had the opportunity to do the research you have, so they don't understand it.  They just know that Aunt Sally knows someone who had WLS and in 2 years gained back all their weight plus 100 pounds.   So, i would give them information a little at a time.  like maybe watch a surgery on uTube, or even draw a picture of the differences. Let them absorb that, then talk about why you are choosing one type over the other.  Also, give them the link to this site.  Let them snoop around and see how wondderful this tool really is.  Good Luck.

 Yeah I had a similar response from my mom and my sister. Who both have model bodies (especially my sister) and are very tall and beautiful. I on the other hand am the short overweight one. They have no concept of the struggles we have gone through as overweight people. And they could never grasp the magnitude of the decision we have made for our health and our lives.

I think it is coming from a place of concern and love.. but I really wish they would do the research on their own before they put their two cents in,.,.,

Anyhow do not let it get you down. They will come around :) Thankfully my mom and sis have and I now have their support.

Just give it time.. and maybe minimize interactions with them until it happens. Best of luck!

Hi mkiyoko2008,
I have been researching WLS for a while now. Only the overweight family members of my family are very supportive, because they understand the struggle.  I also discovered that friends and co-workers are VERY accepting of any plastic surgery elective but are not at all accepting of WLS.  The worst comment made when I asked what some friends thought about WLS was one said, "fat people just need to push away from the table and work out".  WOW.  But that same person believed it was ok to have breast lift with implants. She believed one should have the chance to have her boobs back up North where they were prior to child birth.  But I didn't hear anyone suggesting those women should just get better padded bras.  haha.  But I believe we all should have the opportunity to be the normal weight for our height.

Try not to be angry with your family. Like the others said they fear what they do not know.  They have not taken the time to research the procedure and weigh the risks and benefits.  I have finally scheduled my surgery for Sept. 27th after a lot of research and consideration and reading comments on these sites almost daily.  This is my first post, because I was also very surprised of the mixed opinions of my decision to have WLS.

Hugs and Best Wishes,
HappyCamperAZ

I have  co-worker who is overweight herself but doesn't see herself as so.  She is most frequently quoted as saying well I'm not as big as Kari (Me) who tells me every week a new diet I should try, even though the surgery is scheduled and I'm literally doing it tomorrow! She makes me crazy but going into this and knowing I was proud of the decision I made for myself, I decided to screw what all the nay sayers had to say to me.  MOst of them either are uneducated or jealous because they struggle with weight and aren't brave enough to do this! Some people won't stop running their mouths until they see u 6 months after surgery and realize it actually works.  hang in there and if your family continues to give you grief just tell them until they can speak to you like an adult, you would rather not discuss that particular subject.  It sounds mean but some people, especially family don't understand subtle.  :)  

Thank you all for the support and kind words. Lots of great advice, thank you.

I got the same thing all you need to do is focus on what you think is good for your health period

First, understand that they're scared for you. Any time a loved one has major surgery it's frightening. Folks don't really think about the long term health risks of obesity, they're thinking of the short term risks of surgery.

Second, while you can possible lose the "natural way", the statistics say you'd be much less likely to suceed and much much much less likely to keep the weight off.

That said, I'm sorry they weren't supportive.

My sister didn't agree with my choice, but instead of being negative she kept her opinions to herself. Perhaps gently tell your family that you've made up your mind and even if they don't agree with your decision you could use some support instead of negativity? If you can find a way to say this that's not angry or confrontational, maybe they'll hear you.

I had three people who weren't thrilled, but 2 of them have rallied since they've seen the new, more energetic me post-surgery.  My daughter is now my biggest cheerleader, and my dad is very happy for me.  Both of them were on the "there's nothing wrong with you--don't do this" bandwagon.  (Bless them, they really thought there was nothing wrong with me, and they were puzzled by my decision.)

My kinda-sorta boyfriend, on the other hand, complains every time he hugs me.  Not sure how much longer we'll last, frankly. I clearly underestimated his fondness for flesh.

What I'm trying to say here is that people who love you may be unsupportive initially out of fear.  Hang in there. They may well come around to be your strongest supporters!

As for the ones who don't love you--they can head on down the road, right?