A message to the VETS and newbies a like.
The difference between these two women is mind-boggling. As I looked at these two pictures I see my features, I see the same eyes, the same smile, the same nose. I see the same coloring but that is where the seminaries stop. You see that woman in the “before” picture was an unhealthy, unhappy, unsure of herself. Lacking self-esteem, she never thought much of herself. She always so herself as ugly, unwanted, unattractive, and always sad.
She did not have many friends, she didn’t go out, and she didn’t want to go out. It was difficult for her to make friends although she smiles; she was broken in heart and spirit. She was told as a child that she was a waste of space in the world, that she was a waste of good air to breathe couple that with physical abuse and she was a lost and sad little girl. She used to kneel at night in from of her bed at the age of 9 a prayed, prayed as hard as she could that God will take her during the night on her sleep and then in the morning when she opened her eyes she will cried. Cried because God didn’t listen and cried because she missed her mother so much that she could taste the pain and the loneliness.
As she got older, she hid her loneliness and unhappiness with food. She found comfort on the food but that only make the sadness and loneliness worse. She had no control. She saw no way out. More than once she thought of taking the coward way out and not wait for God to answer the prayer of taking her during her sleep.
Today, the woman I am becoming feels sad and mad for that lost little girl I used to be, that sad and unhappy teenager I was and that lonely woman I was. My life is soo different today. I am a confident, strong woman and getting stronger by the day. Yesterday, I saw my mom and she started to cry when she saw me. I asked her what was wrong and she told me “I never I thought I would see the light in your eyes. You never had it before. Not only do you look different, you walk different, you talk different, my daughter is becoming the woman I knew she could be” We both had a good cried.
I want to thank you the Vets on this site. You guys encouraged me, help me, guide me and gave me hope. If you are new, listen to them. They know what they are talking about but most importantly. Know that this is really what you want. This journey is not easy but it is worth every step of the way.
I love every single one of you!
on 12/17/12 12:48 am - CA
What a powerful, POWERFUL transformation that was. thank you for sharing your story. Here's to finding the most authentic YOU and letting her grow to become the woman you were always meant to be.
Best,
Fiona
Sleeved 12/15/11, 5'1", HW 185, SW 164, CW102
I am so happy for you!! I experienced so many of the same emotions as you did pre op. It was terrible. It's amazing to know that we are breaking free from that. I have around another 100 lbs to go and I will get there. You are inspiring and I'm so incredibly happy for you.
You are breathtaking!! You can see the confidence. Congrats on your success!!
I truly feel free. Free from the shame, the hiding, free of the self-hate.
I am truly, truly enjoying my life now. I wish I had done this surgery years ago. Six month ago, I was a completely different person. It is funny because I have a YouTube channel and I see those first videos and i see this pictures and many more and I really truly do not recognized that person anymore. It is a very weird feeling. I used to hear the voice of my abuser telling me “you are a failure, you are wasting your time and money, you are a failure and you will always be one”. She has being dead for 7 years and I still was letting her take control of me. Until one day, I just stop listening to her. I don’t hear her anymore. Between this surgery and therapy, I have finally SHUT HER UP!
I used to say Pre-Op "I am never going to change, the person I am today is going to be the person six months from now". Now six months late, I can tell you I have CHANGE! Everything about me is different. I cannot wait for the rest of my life.
You are going to love your new life. It is hard now, I remembered my first week and because of the pain, I regretted the surgery for about two days. By week two I couldn't be happier. It has not stop since then.
If you have questions please reach out. People here are amazing and supportive. If I could be of help, look me up, I am always here of on a facebook page that someone of us created . "walking away the pounds"
You are not alone in this and we are here to help each other. Good luck on your journey.
