Will this time really be different?

Hi all! Any feedback would be appreciated.  I'm about 3 weeks out from my surgery and, of course, those doubts are starting to creep in.  I have been big my entire life.  I have a picture of myself at 3 and I'm a chunky little monkey.  I was 250 in high school before I went on a medical weight loss plan and lost almost 100 pounds.  I tried to learn how to eat right and exercised like a mad woman.  I loved exercising and feeling good but the weight slowly crept back on. I had a small time where I binged and purged after high school but then I just tried every diet known to man.  There really isn't a diet I haven't tried, a diet book I haven't read or a diet pill I haven't tried.

I know that I have a food addiction and I am starting therapy before my surgery.  I know I've read on here that people need therapy to really get their head right and make a permanent change... I'm just so unsure that I can change.  I feel like this is how I have been for 31 years, is it really possible to make a drastic change for the rest of my life?  I have such doubts... I would rather not have the surgery than have it, lose a ton of weight and then gain it all back.

Anyone similar to my situation that can offer any advice?  Thank you!

Hi KittyKarin

I was also a "chunky monkey" at 3........and 13,,,,,,and 23,,,,,,,,and more than chunky by 33........and we won't talk about size at 43 and 53, and 63.............let's just say GINORMOUS as far as I was concerned.  Plus I'm short, so it seemed worse.  I, too, did every diet...........started at age 5 or so.  I've even tried sticking pins in voodoo dolls to try to lose weight!  Well, that might be a little bit of a fib LOL  But I totally understand what you're saying. It's always been "Will this work this time?" kind of thing..........and for sure, it did work -- for a while, but the weight came back, right?  It did for me, too.

My reasons for getting the sleeve were more about my comorbs than the weight loss.  One of my comorbs was going to kill me if I didn't do something and with research, I learned that many comorbs are helped a lot with a VSG.  The weight loss was going to be a bonus to me..........a welcomed one, but a bonus nonetheless. 

Exactly one month before I turned 65, I got Myrtle.  She is the best sleeve ever and I love her to pieces.  She treats me well, and I treat her with all the respect she deserves.  My approach to staying on plan was that I had to do it as if my life depends on it.......because my life DOES depend on it.  I can honestly say that in almost 6 months now, I have yet to go off plan.  I'm NOT perfect, do not claim to be ever............what I am is fearful.  I fear going off plan because there are so many slippery slopes we can find ourselves on.  It may be that fear isn't the best motivator, but it sure works for me.

YOU CAN MAKE A PERMANENT CHANGE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.  I can't stress that enough.  You have to WANT to do it, however.  This sleeve is a great TOOL -- it isn't magic.  And from what I've read, it's easy to go off plan and "eat around your sleeve" by eating slider foods, crap foods, trigger foods, high fat foods, etc.  But with the small amounts you can eat early on, it becomes easy to limit your intake.  At a week out, it took me 20-30 minutes to eat a tablespoon of Jello!  I sipped 2 ounces of chicken broth over another 15-20 minutes.  Sounds weird, but that's how little food and how long it took to consume it.  At even 2 months out, 1/4 cup of food was a big meal.  So, you see, with such a long time to get to real food, habits develop and you don't even think about over eating.  For one thing, it can be painful, for another, there are some who urp up what they eat if it's too much or eaten too fast.  One of the long-time OH members who is one of the standard bearers for staying on plan says to "under eat your sleeve" and he's absolutely right.  This is from Frisco -- he also has a great site for his remodeled recipes for yummy food and beautifully plated food. 

I've lost 68 pounds and about 54 inches in almost 6 months.  Not the fastest loser, but I'm pleased with my loss at this point.  Going to my fitness center is a more important date on my calendar than a date with Robert Redford would be!  Yeah, I still like the old geezer LOL  No, I don't like getting up at 4:45 a.m. to get to the gym by 5 in the dark morning.........but once I'm there, I don't stop until I finish my planned workout.  Exercise also becomes a habit -- and now, I NEED to exercise or I turn into one cranky old lady!

You can do this.  You can lose the weight.  You can keep it off.  You do NOT have to regain.  It's HARD WORK -- make no mistake.  But I'm here to tell you it's so very worth it..........

Good luck...........keep us posted on your progress as you begin this journey.  It's the ride of a lifetime!!!

Ree

well said and ditto!

Ree,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply.  Congrats on how far you have come and how healthy you are now.  I am just getting really nervous about the surgery.  I don't have horrible co-morbidities...yet!  I have moderate sleep apnea that I just found out about and borderline high blood pressure.  Those have appeared very quickly in the last year or so.  I know if I stay at this weight for long (or gain) I will be having major problems soon. 

I just have to take it day by day and tell myself that I can change and I can do this.  It just seems like such a daunting task. 

Thank you again for your support! :-)

This time will only be different if you're different.  The sleeve is just a tool that will help you immensely, but it won't work if you don't.  It sounds like you are on the right track by starting therapy and addressing your food addiction before surgery. 

Just know it is not a cure for head hunger , you still have to work at it every day , you quit and weight starts to come back , you make the RIGHT food choices and it will work like a charm , I know , I fell off and am now back on track but I still struggle with food issues daily . Good luck , don't get me wrong THIS DOES WORK but you get out of it what you put in it !!

I certainly have a lot of the same feelings/doubts that you have. I just keep telling myself that I've come this far, and having everything all set up as well as looking at the big picture. No it's not going to be a picnic, and going to take hard work and determination, but having been overweight my entire life as well...I think I truly owe it to myself to see what life will have to offer after having this surgery...So as nervous, and doubtful I may be I will not allow myself or anyone else talk me out of this. Turning 30 this year single, and not having children (which has always been my dream) I realized that this will open up a whole new world for me. I want to do this while I'm still "young-ish" lol so I am still able to enjoy all the things that I feel I've let pass me by because of my weight. Not sure if that's something that helps, other than knowing you're not alone with doubts. :)

WILL this time be different?

For most people, the answer is YES. But it's very, VERY important to choose the right form of WLS FOR YOU. The Sleeve is a restriction-only WLS, and from what you've posted here about your weight struggles, restriction alone may NOT be all you need.

Have you researched ALL your WLS options, including a surgery called the Duodenal Switch? The DS has the same stomach as the Sleeve, plus an intestinal bypass similar to, but far more effective than, that of the RNY/gastric bypass. The DS causes dramatic, permanent metabolic CHANGE, and has the very best long-term, maintained weight-loss results---period.

Before you take what's likely to be your only shot at WLS, research EVERYTHING. Visit the DS board here at OH, read at http://www.dsfacts.com, and talk to folks on the Revision board (http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/revision/).