On the subject of leaving the past behind...

I mentioned this in my Happy New Year post earlier in the week, but I've pretty much firmly decided to seek out a new job as soon as jobs start being posted.  As a teacher, typically this starts to happen towards the end of January to early February for the upcoming school year and can continue right up through the end of summer.  I've already started looking, and most jobs I'm seeing right now are immediate openings; can't do that because I have a contract through May (unfortunately).

Anyways, I posted about this on mfp when I decided that I was going to make the change, and a wise friend said that I'll probably have an easier time finding something else now that I'm 115 pounds lighter.  As much as I hate to agree with her, because I hate seeing people being judged for their weight, I do have to concur.  However, I'll also have 7 years of experience under my belt, be finished with my masters degree in May, and have a gifted endorsement (thinking about taking the tests for special ed and reading as well just to further open up my options).

All of this got me thinking: even though I look 115 pounds lighter, and my habits match those of someone 115 pounds lighter, I still lack the confidence of someone 115 pounds lighter.  I still catch myself wondering if the stares I'm getting are because I'm fat.  I am stunned anytime a stranger calls me pretty (happened on New Year's Eve most recently... I could have hugged the guy lol). 

I'm wondering how long it's going to take for my brain to catch up with my body in this regard.  Maybe I need to work on this?  Not sure how to work on it... and I don't want to overdo it and become too ****y, because that can be a recipe for disaster in any situation.  But I also know that, entering the job market, I need to be able to show off my skills and sell my abilities to another school, and that's gonna be harder to do if they can tell I'm nervous.

Any suggestions?

Get a shrink - this is a perfect use for a therapist.   There are actually consolers that specialize in WLS patients or eating disorders and will already understand the link between body image and self-image.

I'll tell you, as someone who does a fair bit of hiring and screening, confidence in yourself is a huge deal during interviews.  Yes, not being ****y (I doubt you'll trip over that line), but looking at yourself objectively and recognizing your accolades for what they are.  It's tough, but very important.  People read very quickly into people that lack confidence in themselves, and they come off uneasy.  You know, if you don't believe in yourself, why should others, right?

Also, practice with someone that makes hiring decisions; don't know if you have a friend like that.  Have some fake interviews and do them over and over until you are comfortable talking about your strengths in an objective way.

Another thing I do is I use visualization:  I imagine myself in the interview, and I see myself making eye contact, smiling, using active listening, remembering to state my experiences and skill sets, etc.  Visualize how you want it to go, and then you'll have a sort-of script to follow, and wont' be 'winging' it so much.

Uh... is any of this helpful?

Lol... yes Ruggie, everything you just said sounds very helpful.  And you're right; time to look into therapy.  I always forget about this as an option, because I've become so accustomed so trying to solve my own problems- but again, you're right.  There are some great ones out there who, undoubtedly, know exactly what I'm struggling with and can help.

I pretty much figured that coming across with the right amount of confidence is going to be important... heck, with seven years of experience, if I can't walk in with the right vibe, what does that say (to people who don't know me) about my opinion of my competence as a teacher, seeing as that's what I'm there to convince them of?  I've got to make sure I'm not sending the wrong signals.

Thank you for the advice; I'll definitely be using all of it in the coming weeks/months.

heck, with seven years of experience, if I can't walk in with the right vibe, what does that say (to people who don't know me) about my opinion of my competence as a teacher, seeing as that's what I'm there to convince them of?  I've got to make sure I'm not sending the wrong signals.

Exactly!  You've got it!!!

I also like to solve my own problems, often to my own detriment.  Too often we forget we are social animals and don't exist in a vacuum.  I had to have it hammered into me to see a shrink, and when I found a WLS/eating disorder shrink, I actually made great process on my self-image and self-confidence.  I hope it will work for you as well.

Ruggie has great advice here. It does take time for our self-image to catch up to the reality. How else did we get so heavy if we weren't able to "not see" it happening when we glanced in the mirror?

I think visualization, therapy, and other self-esteem building exercises are a great way to get this process moving. You do need confidence for a job interview, and to be a great teacher. (I have over 20 years experience, I know this! LOL)

It's horrible to think that weight makes it harder to find a job, I just had to go through that realization myself. It led me to having the surgery. It was heartbreaking but something wonderful is coming from it.

Good luck, and let us know how it's going!

Some helpful ideas here to start!

http://www.livestrong.com/article/503459-how-to-accept-your- new-body-after-weight-loss/

Great! Thanks!

Courtney,

I know our contracts extend to the end of the year, but I do not think that has anything to do with having to wait to switch districts.  I empathize that leaving your students midstream is difficult and a separate issue, but if it is the notion of a contract stopping you then I do not think that is a hurdle.  Check with your union rep to find out for sure though.  You may find it is much easier to switch postilions now because most of the experienced folks do not leave midyear.  Additionally, here in Michigan once you have the masters finished it is a column change in pay and they have to pay  you more.  Get the job before your masters is finished if possible- it will be easier.  This is a huge issue for us experienced folks in these parts- we can get jobs in other districts, but many times lose over half our salary to do it.  Just be prepared to explain why you are looking- come up with something different than being jaded at the current position.

 I do a lot of interviewing for my district and can tell you that typically the newbies are much more nervous than the experienced teachers, and the experienced teachers have a harder time succinctly communicating their answers.  I think this is because our field is so complicated it is harder for vets to sift down to the essentials, and the newbies have very little to draw from.  Google interview questions for teachers and just practice answering them.  My favorite piece of interviewing advice for a teacher it to answer questions with stories based on students.  It will show your personality and caring along with sound pedagogical approaches.  Good luck!

Thanks friend

If I leave mid-contract, I will be at the mercy of my district to release me from my contract. If they refuse, I lose my certificate. I probably could have gotten away with doing this a month or two ago, but I doubt they will want to voluntarily release me right now because it would be difficult to find someone ready to step in at this point in the year. The salary thing isn't an issue here because most of it is state funded, and my county has the lowest supplement in the state on top of 8 furlough days, compared to the ZERO to three in surrounding counties. I've heard of people out here not getting a job because of having a doctorate but masters degrees are pretty common.

I love the idea of looking up interview questions to practice. Thanks for the suggestions

PS: any suggestions for what I could tell interviewers about why I want to leave my current school?