My boss is one of those judgmental people, so all I told her when I was requesting my time off was that I needed to have surgery.  But I was so tired of her commenting, "Girl, you're looking so good lately!  Who is he?  Tell me all about him!"  that finally told her I had surgery to loose weight.  

She has always made the same comments in the past when I have lost a few pounds, and they really annoy me.  Like the only reason I'd need to loose weight is to make myself look good for a man?   - Let me have a little rant here - Why can't people be happy that I've raised my kids, have a decent job, and own my house all without any help at all?  Does anyone congratulate me?  NO.  They ask me if I'm dating, tell me if I lost weight and wore more makeup I could find a man...in fact, they're probably the reason I haven't been dating.  I don't want to do what they think I should do...my son probably got his "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" from me, LOL!

One of the most helpful things my psychologist has told me regarding comments from other people is that what they say to us is usually a reflection of their own insecurities and judgments against themselves.  Its just much easier to project that outward and make others feel insecure than to project it inward and fix their own problems.  

A lot of these people are also intimidated by our happiness because they do not feel happy within themselves.  Maybe she feels that she needs a man to complete her, and also feels that her own personality isn't enough to keep one around so she relies on her looks and may just assume other women are the same.  Sad. :(

Oh and I hear you on the Oppositional Defiant Disorder! My son has it too (Aspergers as well) and he got both from me! lol  

Well..sister..let me say CONGRATULATIONS! 

You have a lot to be proud of! Don't let anyone try to take that away! 

Now you are losing weight and getting healthy! Bam! YOU DOING IT GIRL! 

Guess what? Full moon tonite...has to be why ppl are being so flakey lately.

Keep up the good work and make your boss jealous! Hee hee

Don't let them get you down.  I told my boss who is full of support, her sister has been very successful with RNY and is now over 10 years out.  I only told one other person in my office.  Everyone else likes to gossip and I don't want to get caught up in their drama.  Sure they will probably ask me but I'm not telling them anything.  They don't tell me when they are out for various reasons so I don't feel the need to tell them.  It's true, insecure people project out what they are feeling inside and it can be pretty ugly sometimes.  You are doing great!  Congratulations on ALL of your accomplishments!

Thanks everyone.  I know I should ignore the boss, and others, when they say things like that but after hearing it so many times I just want to yell at someone.  Yelling at my boss wouldn't be a good idea though.  It sure would be fun, though!