Put a toe into the dark pool of forbidden food. Sorry long one.

At five months my restriction is still very good.  I can barely get in 4 oz of dense protein at any one sitting.  I follow all the rules including not drinking any liquids 15 mins to a half hour before and a half hour to 45 minutes after I eat.  I exercise like a maniac twice a day with a 3.5 mile brisk walk at lunch time and a 10 mile bike ride at night.  All of this has come relatively easily to me.  Oh sure, there are days when I want to eat bad things and not exercise but guilt usually takes over and I do the right thing.

This past weekend I wandered off the path of goodness and tried my two favorite things.  Pizza and beer.  There was true disappointment and even a little sadness.  It's been 8 months since I had either one.  I was so looking forward to the taste and tactile sensations of eating and drinking my favorite things.  Oh yes, you will say why try these?  You've been doing so good.  Well, it was more curiosity than anything else.  It wasn't cravings or the need to catch a buzz from the beer.  I just wanted to see what would happen.  Poor excuse I know.

Anyway, I first tried the pizza.  I plowed into it like I would have in the old days.  I got though the first large bite and realized that wasn't a good thing to do.  The second bite - although smaller - was even worse than the first.  I started heading for the bathroom but worked my way through it.  I never had a third bite.  Very good and very sad at the same time.  Later on, I tried a beer, my most favorite thing from my past life.  I cracked open the nice cold bottle of Miller Lite and took a good swig, just like the old days.  Big mistake.  Instant foamies.  Also very good but sad in a way.

My curiosity has been satisfied.  I learned that if I want my two favorite things in the future that I can't go at them like I used to.  Hmm - what's the point?  If you can't enjoy something the way you remember it, why do it?

I'm about 57 lbs away from my goal.  I only hope when I hit it that I remember these lessons and stay on track with maintenance.  For now, I'll continue on the easy course and keep doing the right things.

57 lbs to go! WOW you are really close!  I just wanted to chime in that I went at some tacos my husband made for supper one night, they just sounded so good and I just started eating them like I usually would have, and WHOA that went bad.  It was the first time through my early process that I almost puked (too close for comfort) and I felt bad for the next hour or two.  So it did put me back on track quickly.

Well, you never know how something is going to be until you try it! So, now you've tried it, and know that you are living a new life!

At 10 months now, my wife (RNY) and I (VSG) get a pizza now and then. The tastiest yummiest one we want. Delivered.

We each eat at most one piece. It takes a while. And yes lots of concentration to not go too fast.

The rest we wrap each piece in foil and put in a big ziploc bag in the freezer. Every few weeks we pull two pieces out and put them in the toaster-oven. Delicious.

This, along with a few other things...I've worked on reinterpreting these things, from "bad" and "guilt-inducing" to  'this is what normal people do" stuff. Lots of mental anguish but at this point, I'm far into the "this is how normal people operate" frame of mind. I'm not falling off a slippery slope nor going to hell or gaining weight, i'm enjoying my little piece of pizza and my beer now and then:)

So, some day it will come. It's enjoyable but in a different way. I'm glad I can't just mindlessly shove in three pieces in 5 minutes, cause the mess in my head that came with THAT behavior was far worse than any angst I feel these days.