Really Hurt

suitebliss
on 9/7/13 12:08 pm - Southfield, MI

VSG on 03/01/12

: Today two of the closest people (my Aunt & Brother) to me said that I look funny with my weight loss and short hair! Mind you the short hair only came after it thinned because of loosing so much weight. I wanted to tell them to kiss my (well I'll just be a lady), but I remained tactful and told them I don't care what they thought. It really hurt though, you're damned if you do damned if you don't. I almost wanted to cry, but I had to remember that neither of them knows what it's like being 350lbs, bad knees, on BP meds and plantar faciatis (sp?). Right now, my brother is the bigger sibling and I have to get on him about his health. I feel good and I look damn good! So, I'll let them say what they want because neither of them have walked in my shoes! Thanks for letting me vent!

HW: 350 SW: 332 CW: 198 GW: 167
Pre-Op Loss: -7lbs M1: -23lbs (299) M2: -20 (279) M3: -8 (271) M4: -8 (263) M5: -13 (250) M6: -10 (240) M7: -7 (233) M8: -8 (225) M9: 10 (215) M11: (215) M12: 7 (208) M13:1 (207)M 14(205) M15 (203) M16 (201)

1st short term goal: 290 (done 4/16 @ 288). 2nd short term goal: 275 (done 5/20) 3rd short term goal: 250 (Aug 1) 4th short term goal: 220 (11/30) 5th short term goal 199 (wonderland) (November 2013) NEXT GOAL: 190lbs

themexcellentone
on 9/7/13 12:11 pm

VSG on 07/08/13 with

I say F them! You are absolutely right--until they know what it is like to have walked a day in your former shoes they have no right to talk about how you look.

You keep on keepin' on! You are doing awesome!

VSG by Nick Nicholson in 2013. Revised to DS 2/23/2023 by Chad Carlton.

lil1inside
on 9/7/13 12:32 pm

VSG on 07/10/13

Some people and the nerve of them, really I would of been so shocked I my mouth would have dropped to the floor and I wouldn't have been able to say anything. This is a horrible thing to say to anyone and I'm so sorry you had to hear this, especially from family. They are just so jealous they can't stand to see you happy and healthy--so sad. Keep continuing to shine around them and never, ever let them bring you down, they aren't worth the time you wrote this post.

Started at (266 lbs) Pre-op (249) 7/10/13 Present (173) 03/19/14
No star is lost once we have seen, We always may be what we might have been.
Adelaide Proctor

linzeelee
on 9/7/13 12:35 pm - Omaha, NE

VSG on 05/17/13

Aw, I'm sorry they hurt your feelings. People don't deal with change well. I'm sure it's hard to get used to our changing appearances. It's too bad they didn't use a little more tact, but I'm sure they weren't trying to hurt you.

I think I would have wanted to tell them to kiss my behind too (especially since everyone in my family is always on me about losing weight).

You know YOUR opinion is most important. And yes, people don't understand what it's like to be MO and in pain unless they've been there. Try to get past the hurt and rock that new body and haircut.

Lindsay ~ 5'4" ~ HW (5/6/13): 280 ~ SW (5/17/13): 273 ~ CW: 140
Losses by month: pre-op: -8 M1: -18 M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -9 M5: -10 M6: -12 M7: -14 M8: -12 M9: -2 M10: -8 M11: -9 M12: -2 M13: -6 M14: -7

(deactivated member)
on 9/7/13 2:35 pm

It will always amaze me that people think they can whatever out their mouth. Especially hurtful things. But I've learned people are just miserable. And as you know misery loves company. They want to big you done and make you feel sad. So give into the negativity. Hold your high!! Chin up!

suitebliss
on 9/7/13 5:01 pm - Southfield, MI

VSG on 03/01/12

Thanks everyone!

HW: 350 SW: 332 CW: 198 GW: 167
Pre-Op Loss: -7lbs M1: -23lbs (299) M2: -20 (279) M3: -8 (271) M4: -8 (263) M5: -13 (250) M6: -10 (240) M7: -7 (233) M8: -8 (225) M9: 10 (215) M11: (215) M12: 7 (208) M13:1 (207)M 14(205) M15 (203) M16 (201)

1st short term goal: 290 (done 4/16 @ 288). 2nd short term goal: 275 (done 5/20) 3rd short term goal: 250 (Aug 1) 4th short term goal: 220 (11/30) 5th short term goal 199 (wonderland) (November 2013) NEXT GOAL: 190lbs

daisymae426
on 9/7/13 5:38 pm

VSG on 08/27/13

Wow. I am really bothered by this, too. I feel as though some folks simply need to be called out when they speak up like this. A simple, "That was really rude of you to say." Would suffice, I think. By putting it that way, you are not acknowledging they hurt you. But you are making it crystal clear that they should not speak to like that.

Remember, in some situations, we teach others how to treat us. You need to start teaching them to treat you with respect now.

71dart
on 9/7/13 8:36 pm

VSG on 08/06/12 with

Maybe it never happens to me because I am still bigger and intimidate most people. In the past my advice would have been: if someone hurts you, its OK to hurt them back. Everyone has flaws, serve it back. Throw the high heat. Revenge is a dish best served fresh from the fryer.

Now, I don't know.

As for your brother, beware. Often, saying something only drives them further away. Live by example and wait for him to talk.

MsBatt
on 9/8/13 2:13 am

DS on 12/11/03

I don't have a clue what your aunt's issue might be, but your brother very likely resents you "getting on" him about his health now that he's the bigger of you two. Don't you remember how that hurt when folks did it to you?

cappy11448
on 9/8/13 8:39 am

I don't think anyone can understand how hard it is to be morbidly obese, and deal with all we have to live with. You've made the right decision to attend to your weight problem using the only method that works. You have great courage to have the surgery and work through the recovery. Your brother and Aunt don't understand, and that's unfortunate.

I hope you know how wonderful it is that you are caring for yourself. You deserve a lot of credit for your courage and determination. You deserve to be healthy and mobile and comfortable. Congratulations on your weight loss.

Carol

Surgery May 1, 2013. Starting Weight 385, Surgery Weight 333, Current Weight 160. At GOAL!

Weight loss Pre-op 1-20 2-17 3-15 Post-op 1-20 2-18 3-15 4-14 5-16 6-11 7-12 8-8

9-11 10-7 11-7 12-7 13-8 14-6 15-3 16-7 17-3 18-3

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