Share but be aware I am not you.
For the last 10 months I have followed this board. Posting when I had a question, a concern or if someone asked for a personal account. I have enjoyed most of what I read and the responses.
I wont be popular for saying this, but thats ok.
I have a concern and am not trying to bash anyone. So please remember that as you read along. My comments are not directed to any persons, just about what I have experienced.
I have watched as some posters push their experience as the only way to go. Don't snack, don't eat carbs, up protein, lower calories, exercise this way, use this thing, etc...
If you post that you do the opposite, or do differently, you are wrong. Its hardly ever overtly said but almost always comes across as a snub to the poster.
I just ask that all of us remember this journey is personal. To be undertaken with ourselves and our medical team. My medical team is competant, highly respected and has developed a program that they believe in and is successful.
By all means share, your experiences. Share the who, what where, when and how. Share what you eat, how you exercise, and all the other stuff we support each other with. Share your victories and your failures.
Share how you do or did this journey. Thats inspirational. But dont tell others it has to be done a certain way to be successful.
My requirements are always going to be different from yours. How tall, how heavy, how active, where I live, what I do, who lives with me, will all have impact on my journey. Yours will not be the same. I respect and expect that.
To assume that what worked for you will work the same for others is arrogant and a bit dangerous. Some comments posted skirt the edge of medical advice. To tell someone to up their protein, add more water, decrease carbs, or keep calories low without knowing their medical history is scary.
There is a difference between saying "this worked for me" and "do this and this will happen".
Again I am not highlighting any one person, instead just trying to point out each of us has our own path on this journey. Support is wanted and appreciated on the way. Just be careful to ensure what you offer is support and not judgement. We all have enough if that.
I wont be popular for saying this, but thats ok.
I have a concern and am not trying to bash anyone. So please remember that as you read along. My comments are not directed to any persons, just about what I have experienced.
I have watched as some posters push their experience as the only way to go. Don't snack, don't eat carbs, up protein, lower calories, exercise this way, use this thing, etc...
If you post that you do the opposite, or do differently, you are wrong. Its hardly ever overtly said but almost always comes across as a snub to the poster.
I just ask that all of us remember this journey is personal. To be undertaken with ourselves and our medical team. My medical team is competant, highly respected and has developed a program that they believe in and is successful.
By all means share, your experiences. Share the who, what where, when and how. Share what you eat, how you exercise, and all the other stuff we support each other with. Share your victories and your failures.
Share how you do or did this journey. Thats inspirational. But dont tell others it has to be done a certain way to be successful.
My requirements are always going to be different from yours. How tall, how heavy, how active, where I live, what I do, who lives with me, will all have impact on my journey. Yours will not be the same. I respect and expect that.
To assume that what worked for you will work the same for others is arrogant and a bit dangerous. Some comments posted skirt the edge of medical advice. To tell someone to up their protein, add more water, decrease carbs, or keep calories low without knowing their medical history is scary.
There is a difference between saying "this worked for me" and "do this and this will happen".
Again I am not highlighting any one person, instead just trying to point out each of us has our own path on this journey. Support is wanted and appreciated on the way. Just be careful to ensure what you offer is support and not judgement. We all have enough if that.
I think a lot of this lies in interpretation and the nature of online message boards.
My intent is always to share my experience. If that comes across as "do it this way," then I apologize (I didn't think you were calling me out, btw, I'm just saying). I think it's difficult to "hear" tone in an online forum sometimes, so it's hard to tell if people are simply sharing their experiences or if they're trying to tell others what to do.
I'm not even sure this message will come across the way I intend it to, lol!
Sarah, VSG Dr. Cirangle--12/28/12, HW: 265 SW: 253 GW: 130???
Very valuable perspective here - thanks for posting.
One tool I have found helpful is the Block User option. I don't have many people blocked, but those I do essentially subscribed to one of two models:
1. If you don't do it this (my) way you will most certainly fail.
2. You're doing it wrong (because you are not doing it my way, even if its working for you).
It has really helped with my perception of the signal to noise ratio here, and allows me to see valuable stuff from folks like Frisco ("hey, I have meal IDEAS for you") and Keith ("hey I have exercise IDEAS for you.") without dealing with unnecessary guilt trips and bullying.
Laurie
One tool I have found helpful is the Block User option. I don't have many people blocked, but those I do essentially subscribed to one of two models:
1. If you don't do it this (my) way you will most certainly fail.
2. You're doing it wrong (because you are not doing it my way, even if its working for you).
It has really helped with my perception of the signal to noise ratio here, and allows me to see valuable stuff from folks like Frisco ("hey, I have meal IDEAS for you") and Keith ("hey I have exercise IDEAS for you.") without dealing with unnecessary guilt trips and bullying.
Laurie
Sleeved 6/12/13 - 100 pounds lost to get to goal!
While I do think most "vet" posters do really believe in the cause, I do agree that some are down right arrogant and condescending.
We all have our own unique shortcomings, weaknesses, strengths and paths to follow.
Great post!
Ps. You should unblock those posters so they are able to view/respond....
K
We all have our own unique shortcomings, weaknesses, strengths and paths to follow.
Great post!
Ps. You should unblock those posters so they are able to view/respond....
K
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